Creative Muse Journal

April is National Poetry Month!

2011-04-04T16:00:00.013-04:00

When it comes to writing, poetry has always been my first love. In honor of National Poetry Month, I thought I'd share some of my favorite poets and poems with you, including a few of my own.

Several years ago, I read an article about "Taking Flight" in which the phrase "rare bird" was mentioned. It reminded me of an English professor I had in college. No matter how badly we stumbled when reading aloud, or how poorly we answered his questions, he always found a way to encourage us and make us feel we had potential. "Jonesy" flew the bonds of earth many years ago, but through this poem, I can see him once again flitting about our classroom, trying to teach a young nest full of English majors how to fly. I wrote this poem in March, 2005, based on an incident from a class in the late 1960s. The name "Miss White" is fictitious.

Geoffrey Chaucer was a 14th century poet and author, and is referred to as the Father of English Literature. He is perhaps best known for The Canterbury Tales, a collection of short stories told by travelers to entertain one another while on their journey.

"A Rare Bird"

Anon. 17th c. portrait G. Chaucer
(Wikipedia public domain)

A rare bird, lanky, toothless, gaunt,

he perched before his callow clutch,

and from one scrawny, gray-tipped
wing,

dangled Chaucer, like a juicy worm,

before our unfledged eyes and ears.

"How old is Absalom...Miss White?"

I've never been much good at this
so to his, "Come on, take a guess,"
"From thirty-five to sixty-eight?"
I lamely peep, embarrassed, now.

Canadian Geese
photo by Donna B. Russell

He cocks his head, all smiles, and coos,
"Can you narrow that a little? No?"
He bobs across the room and nods.
Another nestling quickly chirps
a more precise, correct response.

Then turning, he commends us both,
and I am left perplexed, that he
would remove the sting of my distress.
But wisdom knows that confidence
is the lift on which young wings will soar.

* * *

How about you? Did you have a special teacher or professor who made an impact on your life? Please share your comments.

Signs of Spring?

2011-03-12T17:00:00.042-05:00

As I sit and look out the window at mountains of snow piled in every available spot in our apartment complex, it's hard to imagine that spring begins this month--at least on the calendar.

March 8: Residents help dig out the last car.

(Photo by Donna B. Russell)

And, yet, there are signs. Yesterday, on the way to the doctor's office for my annual physical, we noticed that the ice on the bay is beginning to wear thin, and there were actually rather large, green patches of grass in several yards as we passed by. We even saw a big fat Robin Redbreast perched on a mound of snow! (Alas, I didn't have my camera with me.)

Mardi Gras memories: Sarah, Davy, Jen
(Photo by David A. Russsell)

Mardi Gras has come and gone, and the countdown to Easter has begun as evidenced by the ads on TV featuring the Cadbury bunny, and the pastel M&Ms and jelly beans in the stores. We're also counting down the final five weeks until the birth of our first grandchild, which means Gramma had better get busy finishing that sweater! As you can see, one side of the front is finished (and I have started on the other side).

Making progress
(Photo by Donna B. Russell)

I've also received a couple of seed catalogs in the mail--always a sign of spring. I used to enjoy growing my own tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, radishes, swiss chard, etc. When the kids were little, we called it "growing a salad." I still love the smell and feel of digging in the dirt, although I can no longer keep up a garden. Instead, I'm thinking of growing a few things in containers this year. For the rest, I'll frequent our local vegetable stands and farmers' markets for fresh, organic produce.

Image: Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

And, while I'm thinking about spring, and dirt, I just joined Sharon Lovejoy's "Grimy Hands Girls Club." If you'd like to know more about the club, or about Sharon, who is also the author of Toad Cottages & Shooting Stars: A Grandma's Bag of Tricks, among others, please visit her website at http://www.sharonlovejoy.com/CultivatingWonder/Home.html or her blog at http://sharonlovejoy.blogspot.com.

What are you doing to get ready for Spring?

Remembering My Father--"The Longest Night"

2011-02-27T14:42:00.004-05:00

[As I prepare to become a grandmother for the first time, I am thinking today of my father, who died on this date in 1962. I think of all the things he never got to see me do--learn to drive, sing in the choir, play in the high school band. He never got to read my articles in the high school newspaper, or guide me through the teen years, witness my first prom and graduation from high school, then college. He didn't get to meet the man I married, walk me down the aisle and give me away, nor see my children and watch them grow up. And, yet, in a way, I feel like he has been watching over me all these years. The following is an article I wrote last year (unchanged except for updating the number of years), which includes a poem I wrote about the night he died. When you lose a loved one, you learn how to cope, how to adjust, because life goes on, and because you must; but you never forget because they are a part of you.]

Today is the anniversary of my father's death forty-nine years ago. He died the day before my oldest brother's birthday, and just two and a half weeks before mine. My father had rarely been sick, and had never missed work due to illness. He always said that the day he couldn't go to work was the day he would die.

That morning, I remember my mother calling to me, worry and urgency in her voice. When I emerged from my bedroom, my father was sitting on the bathroom floor, my mother steadying him so he wouldn't fall over. She told me to take her place while she ran to the phone to call for an ambulance. He had vomited blood, then collapsed from weakness. Two weeks earlier, he had been diagnosed with what the doctor thought was the flu and told to stay home from work and go to bed. Today, it was clear that something much more than the flu was wrong with him, and what he'd said about not being able to go to work went through my mind.

For years, my father had been plagued by heartburn. Today, he most likely would have been given medication to treat his symptoms and protect his esophagus, but back then he was told to take an antacid, such as Tums, and cut out spicy foods. He was rushed to the hospital, tests were done, and we received the diagnosis--cancer of the esophagus. Surgery was the only thing that might save his life, and the odds were 80/20 against him. But when the doctors opened him up, the odds dropped to zero--every organ in his body, except his heart, had been invaded by cancer. The doctors said they were amazed he had kept going as long as he did, and that there was nothing they could do. They closed him up, returned him to his room, and the family took up vigil at the foot of his bed, waiting for him to wake up. He never did.

I remember sitting in his darkened room with my mother, my three brothers, and my aunt. I remember the nurse speaking to my father, trying to wake him from the anesthesia. I remember the sound of his breathing, the sounds of monitors to which he was connected, and the sound of the clock on the wall. When he stopped breathing, all of the other sounds stopped, too...except for the ticking of that clock. In addition to losing my father, I felt I had lost my sense of security, as well as my childhood.

The Longest Night

When I was thirteen,

I sat beside my mother

at the foot of his bed,

listening to the steady

t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k

of the clock on the wall,

to the steady

drip - drip - drip of the IV,

the s t e a d y

R I S E and f a l l

as the lungs

F I L L, e m p t y, F I L L

as the nurse takes his pulse,

as the light outside grays to dusk,

blackens to night,

as the steady

t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k

of the clock on the wall

counts out my father's life

second by second,

as the drip - drip - drip - of the IV goes on,

the breathing becomes labored

the chest RISES . . . p a u s e s . . . fa l l s,

and the lungs begin shutting down

as the nurse takes his pulse again

and shakes her head,

and the steady t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k

of the clock goes on,

the chest R I S E S . . . f a l l s . . . stops,

as the nurse removes the IV,

and shakes her head,

the light of my childhood

grays to dusk,

blackens to night,

and he's gone.

--Donna B. Russell

Fast Away the [New] Year Passes...

2011-02-06T03:07:00.005-05:00

"Fast away the old year passes..." So says the Christmas carol, "Deck the Halls," and I think we'd all agree. But it feels like the new year is rapidly passing away, too. Where did January go?

Bust of Janus - Vatican Museum/Public Domain

January, named for the Greek god Janus, who had two heads--one facing backward toward the past, the other facing forward to the future--is when most of us set "resolutions" or "goals" for the coming year. To do that, we reflect on the year that has just ended, see how much progress (or not) we've made on last year's goals, and what areas still need work. The idea here is not to beat ourselves up over our failures, but to take the lessons we've learned from them and build on those. There will be some things we will need to "let go" of, but it's not always easy deciding what to carry into the new year with us, and what to purge.

A few months ago, my son and daughter-in-law decided to leave Chicago and spend the winter in Mexico. To accomplish this goal, they had to make some hard decisions about what they could keep and what they had to leave behind or sell. Reducing their possessions to what would fit into two suitcases was both a challenge and a sacrifice. But after storing a few things, packing the essentials, and selling the rest, they headed south of the border to fulfill a dream. (You can read their story at www.incredibleself.com and click on the "About" and "Blog" tabs.)

Davy and Tracy (photo by Davy Russell)

The older I get, the less "baggage" I want to carry around. I don't want to waste precious energy on things that hold me back, drag me down, or generate negativity. I want to travel light entering the new year. So, I have adjusted my goals for 2011 accordingly.

One of my biggest challenges is paper. I read 90-100+ books a year, plus magazines, newsletters, and online blogs, e-newsletters, e-mail, articles, etc. Paper multiplies in my household, and I have found that it is my biggest source of clutter. Last year, I began sorting through and throwing out; but there's still a long way to go. So, I decided that one of my goals for this year would be to only subscribe to those publications I have time to read--both online and in print. Those that accumulate unopened, will not be renewed, no matter how good a deal is offered. If I'm paying for something that is going into the recycle bin unread, it's NOT a bargain! Several January invitations to subscribe to publications have already found their way into my recycle box or shredder.

Similarly, I decided to only buy the print and paper editions of books that have some special value to me, such as those by my favorite authors that I wish to collect, or those that have some other lasting significance such as books on writing, or books needed for learning a new language or skill. As I sort through my books this year, I hope to donate or recycle the vast majority of them. For all other books and publications, I'll use the Kindle I received for Christmas. I have already donated the first batch of books, and the Kindle is earning its keep.

Another goal was to greatly reduce the use of credit cards. This means paying off credit card balances on a monthly basis (or, if unable to do this, to pay more than the minimum), and planning ahead and saving up for things instead of whipping out the plastic. Credit cards will be used for emergencies (and, hopefully, there won't be too many of those this year) or for purchases that can be paid in full when the statement arrives. Seeing those "zero" interest charges is a great morale boost!

Baby sweater--the "before" photo
(photo by Donna B. Russell)

Third, I wanted to be more "crafty" this year by knitting some things for my grandson who is due in April, and maybe brushing up on crocheting, as well. I also wanted to take more time to practice sketching, and learning to paint on glass and ceramics. The yarn, needles, and pattern for a baby sweater were ordered at the end of January, and I'll be starting the actual knitting this weekend.

And last, I want to create a more workable daily schedule that includes time set aside for writing, being more consistent with blogging, and participating more fully in one or two online writing groups. One of my writing goals was to launch an online version of the print "PetWise" column I write. I'm happy to say that "PetWise Online" launched February 1, with my guest, Nadine M. Rosin, author of The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood. You can read it and give me your feedback at http://petwiseonline.blogspot.com.

What goals did you set for 2011? Did you make a good start in January, or have they already fallen by the wayside? Share your goals and your plan for achieving them in the comments section.

The Gift of a Family Tradition

2010-12-27T16:55:00.004-05:00

[Note: I'm posting this early in case you'd like to establish this as a tradition for your own family.]

It had been a difficult year. My widowed mother was nearing retirement from her job at IBM, I was a single mom in my final year of college (having returned two years before to complete my degree in English and Elementary Education, when my daughter Jen started kindergarten), and January seemed like a long, bleak month stretching out before us. The gray days of winter sapped what little energy we'd had after the hustle and bustle between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

As usual, we had taken down the Christmas decorations right after New Year's Day. We were exhausted, and the post-Christmas let-down was affecting all of us, but it hit my mom especially hard. So, Jen and I planned to surprise Grammy by celebrating Twelfth Night, the last of the Twelve Days of Christmas that culminates with Epiphany on January 6.

We didn't have much money, but decided to buy one gift for Grammy from both of us. We also planned a special supper to have ready when she came home from work. Then I set up, and Jen helped decorate, a three-foot tall, table-top, artificial tree that I had used for the Pioneer Girls group of which I was leader. We placed the tree on the living room coffee table so that mom wouldn't see it when she came in through the kitchen door from the garage. Jen was so excited it was hard for her (and me, too) to not give anything away.

When mom came home from work, she was tired but surprised and pleased to see supper cooking on the stove. As she removed her coat and boots, and stepped into her slippers, I said, "Supper will be ready soon. Why don't you go sit down in the living room and warm up." She nodded and headed into the living room. But when she saw the tree, with its glowing lights and decorations, she stood stock still and just stared, open-mouthed.

Jen and I both shouted, "Happy Twelfth Night!"

Mom gaped at the tree, then at us, then back at the tree.

"What did you do?" she asked, awe-struck.

We had her sit down in her rocking chair, and Jen played "Santa," handing my mother her gift.

"But I don't have anything for you!" she protested.

"Our gift was doing this for you," I said.

I have long-since forgotten what the present was that she unwrapped that night; but I will never forget the look of wonder and joy that lit up her face when she saw that little tree and as she opened that solitary gift. We had a delicious supper, and all of the exhaustion and post-holiday depression melted away in the warmth of each others' company. It was a wonderful night.

Thus began our family tradition of celebrating Twelfth Night--a tradition I continued when David and I married two years later, and which has endured to the present. Each year, on New Year's Eve, those family members who are able to participate, put their names on slips of paper, we each draw a name, then buy that person a modest gift. On Twelfth Night, we gather around the Christmas tree (which we leave up until after January 6) one last time, light candles and enjoy the lights, often read the story of the Wisemen bringing their gifts to the Christ Child and sing "We Three Kings," and exchange our gifts. We have found it a wonderful way to bring the holidays to a close, and to diminish, if not entirely dispel, the post-holiday melancholy that many people experience.

Do you have any post-holiday traditions that you celebrate? Do you have a ritual for taking down the tree and packing away the decorations? If so, please share them in the comment section below.

Shelter Pets: Love on Four Legs

2010-11-30T17:00:00.000-05:00

Today is the last day of November. It is also Shelter Pets Day on Facebook! In celebration, people have been encouraged to share their own shelter pet stories, so I'd like to share mine. Both of our current cats and my service dog were shelter animals. Yes, I said my service dog is a shelter alumni, but more on that in a minute.

We adopted Meisha, a 3-year-old torti cat, on April 6, 2000. We had been to the Humane Society of Chittenden County the day before to look at cats, and had seen this shy, scared beauty huddled in the farthest corner of her cage. We didn't know until the next day that she was just getting over a urinary tract infection. Not wanting to further traumatize her, we left her alone and socialized with a few others that needed homes, but none seemed to "click."

The following day, we went back to the shelter and decided to ask if we could take the torti into a room to see if she would feel a bit more at ease. Soon after we were settled, she jumped up in my arms and cuddled against my shoulder, purring. She also let my husband and children hold her, and we knew she was the one for us.

However, when we got her home, she refused to let us pick her up and seemed rather aloof. Having had two previous homes before coming to ours, she had no way of knowing that ours would be permanent, and most likely didn't dare risk getting attached. Three months later, she developed a life-threatening liver infection. She stopped eating, her weight plummeted from 9 pounds to 7, and we rushed her to our vet, where the prognosis wasn't good. However, with the excellent care from the vets at VCA Brown Animal Hospital, and our love and support, Meisha pulled through. From that point on, she began to open up to us, but very slowly. It took two years of patience and encouragement on our part, another life-threatening illness, and surgery to remove several bladder stones (the cause of her chronic urinary tract infections) before she learned to fully trust us and blossomed into the confident, happy, "Queen of the house" that she is today.

Meisha hasn't had it easy. A couple of years ago, she developed a very rare eye condition that has caused her to lose her sight in one eye, and will at some point, most likely cause total blindness. At nearly 14 years of age, in spite of her health issues, she still gets around well, is an incredibly loving, confident companion, and we feel blessed to share her life.

In 2005, my doctor told me it was time to get a service dog. I'd had dogs growing up, but after my husband and I married, we lived in apartments where either dogs were not allowed, or pets were banned altogether. Although dogs are not allowed as pets where we currently live, service dogs are. The first place I looked was the website for the Humane Society of Chittenden County, and there I found the photo of a gorgeous Australian Shepherd-Collie mix. Having had two Border Collies in my late teens and twenties, I had a deep love for the herding breeds and knew them to be intelligent, easy to train, and good with children. Since a lot of children live in our apartment complex, this was one of my main concerns.

My husband had not grown up with dogs, and had somewhat of a phobia since he'd been attacked by one in the past. However, he trusted my instincts when it came to picking out a dog. When he saw Mindy, his first thought was, "My gosh, she's HUGE!" Weighing in at around 100 lb., she certainly was a big girl; but she was just what I needed. As we were filling out the adoption papers, another family came in to look at her. Had we been five minutes later, we might have missed out. And so, Mindy joined our family.

Service dogs usually begin training as puppies, and most training programs will not accept dogs that are older than two years of age. Mindy was six years old with a crooked paw (the result of being shot as a puppy) and no training except what they had done at the shelter. We enrolled her in an obedience class at HSCC which she passed with flying colors. Then, through a group in Arizona that helps people train their own service dogs, I began training Mindy in the service behaviors I needed her to perform. She learned very quickly, even adapting some of the procedures to make them easier on both of us. And if she saw a need, she stepped in to fill it. For example, we have railings on our stairs, but the railing doesn't extend around the landing. About two nights after she'd been with us, Mindy started up the stairs behind me, timing her ascent to arrive at the landing just as I had to let go of the railing so I could place my hand on her back for balance. Then she repeated the process at the top of the stairs, escorting me to the bedroom door.

Because we live in multi-family housing, we didn't want her to bark and annoy the neighbors, so I taught her to use her "indoor voice," a soft woof, when she needed to go out. The only time she barks out loud is to alert me that someone is at the door, or if there is something unusual going on outside so I can check it out. She even has a special UPS bark, and loves the "boys in brown" because they sometimes give her a biscuit.

Mindy will be 12 years old in January, and in spite of showing signs of aging, still fulfills her service duties, and has brought a world of love and joy into our lives--and cured my husband of his dog phobia! We feel so privileged to have her in our family.

Last, but not least, is Micau, a 3-year-old cat we adopted in January of this year from HSCC. When we arrived at the shelter, we told them we needed a cat that was good both with other cats and with dogs. One of the young women there said, "I think we have just what you're looking for," and introduced us to a beautiful, long-haired black and white female. She immediately came over to us, rubbed against our legs, began purring, and let us pick her up. She seemed equally comfortable with both of us, and she had previously lived with cats, dogs, and other animals. We needed to look no further.

Meisha immediately established her superior ranking in the pecking order, and, as she had with Mindy, stood her ground when challenged by our new addition. Mindy accepted Micau right away. Within minutes of bringing her home, Micau found and used the litter pan and began exploring her new domain. She is a very loving, affectionate cat who divides her time between David and me, but will also greet guests and, if they are willing, curl up in their laps. In some ways, Micau is more like a dog--she'll come when called (most of the time--she IS a cat, after all), will follow us from room-to-room, and has learned to tap my hand when she wants a treat. She is a healthy, playful, welcome addition to our household.

Shelter animals make wonderful companions. They truly appreciate being given a second chance to have a forever home, give unconditional love and affection, provide comfort and companionship, are loyal, and worth every penny of what it costs to provide for their care. We feel so fortunate to be able to learn from these animals, to love them, and to share our lives with them. If you're looking for a companion animal, please give those in your local shelters your first consideration. You'll be saving a life and enriching your own.

A Case of the Not-So-Warm Fuzzies

2010-11-15T18:30:00.000-05:00

While reading an article about autumn in the Adirondacks, the photo of a granite water tub/fountain caught my eye. Since the husband of one of my online friends does sculpting, I thought they might enjoy it, too, so I sent her a message to that effect. When she replied that she'd love to see it if I would send the link, I was surprised because I thought I had; but when I checked my original message, there was no link to be found. Fibro-fog strikes again!

What is fibro-fog? People talk about the "warm fuzzies"--things that make us feel good or give us a sense of well-being. Fibro-fog is the "fuzzies" without the "warmth." You realize you have it when you start to say a word and can't quite seem to latch onto it, or you begin to share some item you've read about or seen on the news, and use a different word from the one you had intended. Sometimes I go through a bit of mental acrobatics trying to capture that word--a bit like two people on separate trapeze bars, swinging, but not quite in synch, who keep missing each other when they try to grasp hands. Sometimes a bit of word association helps: Can you hand me the...um...it's red, made from tomatoes, on the bottom shelf of the fridge door...CATSUP! Hah! Got it!

Almost everyone will occasionally forget a name or draw a blank when trying to remember something. But fibro fog is more than a momentary lapse. It involves temporary, short-term memory impairment (often in conjunction with a pain flare), that can make conversation difficult, stressful, and hard to follow or remember. Someone will tell you they're going to the store--you know what they said, you understood it, but as soon as their mouth stops moving, it's gone. For anything important to remember, it helps to write it down--just remember where you wrote it!

Fibro-fog may also cause you to transpose numbers and letters (even though you're not dyslexic), forget appointments, or temporarily forget how to do even a simple task or spell a common word. Those who experience fibro fog have occasionally found some of their possessions in unexpected places, such as their keys in the fridge and their milk in the cupboard. So, if you're having a "foggy" day, don't try to do more than one thing at a time, and try to focus on what you're doing and where you set things down. Don't tackle things like paying bills or balancing the checkbook until the fog clears.

Fibro fog can take a toll on your self-esteem. When you know in your mind what you want to say, but the message isn't getting from your brain to your mouth, it can be embarrassing, humiliating, and make you feel stupid because you know it's happening, and you can't do anything but ride it out. I used to quip that if I ever developed Alzheimers, no one would know the difference! Now, scientists have discovered that those who have fibromyalgia may have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer's disease.

Fibrofog can also have a negative impact on self-care because you are apt to forget to exercise or take medications consistently that would help alleviate other symptoms, such as pain. Since pain interferes with the brain's ability to process new information (as does lack of sleep, stress, and the decrease in seratonin production), it can become a vicious cycle.

Fortunately, these episodes usually only last a few hours, and disappear when the pain flare ends or when you have been able to get restorative sleep.

To minimize fibro-fog, here are some things that may help:

Try to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night (easier said than done if you suffer from insomnia);
Eat a balanced, nutritious diet that includes "brain food" like fish (especially fish high in omega-3s, such as wild salmon and tuna), blueberries, green tea, and organic dark chocolate or cacao beans; foods high in B-vitamins (especially folic acid, B6 and B12);
Keep your brain active with another kind of "brain food"--puzzles (crosswords, Sudoku, brain teasers, riddles, etc.), reading, learning a new language, learning anything new such as knitting, crocheting, painting, wood-working, sculpting, etc.
Aerobic exercise, especially walking (a US study found that walking appears to help minimize brain shrinkage as we age, and may offer some protection against, or delay the onset of, dementia and Alzheimers);
Minimize stress (exercise can help with this, too, but so can calming meditation, listening to soothing music, watching an aquarium full of fish, or some other relaxing activity--or just deep breathing and closing your eyes for a few minutes);
Keep your sense of humor--Laughter can help minimize stress, lower anxiety, oxygenate your blood, and provide an internal massage;
Accentuate the positive--find that cloud's silver lining, look for the good, change negative thoughts into positive ones, focus on what you CAN do instead of what you CAN'T do.
Don't take yourself too seriously--most problems eventually are solved, situations change, and something can be learned from the most devastating of life's experiences.

We can't control fibro fog (or much of what life throws at us), but we can control how we choose to handle it. We can worry about it, or we can recognize it as part of the challenge of living with Fibromyalgia, and determine to live the best life we can in spite of it.

How do you cope with fibro-fog or other challenges of living with a chronic illness? Post your thoughts, questions, suggestions in the comment section below.

Now, I'm going to go spend some time with MY warm fuzzies--Mindy, Meisha, Micau, and...David!

Seven Benefits of Adopting an Older Animal

2010-11-09T16:30:00.002-05:00

I'm taking a "time-out" from working on my NaNo Novel to share something that is very close to my heart--animal adoption, especially adoption of older or senior dogs and cats.

Almost everyone wants to adopt a puppy or kitten because they're so cute and cuddly. Those little balls of fluff steal your heart and beg you to take them home. But there are several benefits to adopting an older animal.

1. An older animal is usually already housebroken; if not, they are easier to train than a kitten or puppy. Show the cat where the litter pan is, or take the dog outside and show it where you want it to relieve itself, and it will learn quickly what is expected. No cleaning up accidents on the floor, in your plant pots, or on your bed!

2. What you see is what you get. An adult animal's personality is already formed, so there's no guesswork as to what it will be like when it grows up. That cute, cuddly kitten may grow up to be standoffish and aloof. And that cute, energetic puppy might turn out to be a one-dog demolitionist when left at home alone.

3. If you adopt from a shelter, an older dog will already be spayed/neutered, and will be up-to-date on shots. Many shelters also give you a coupon for a free vet check-up, as well as other helpful materials such as coupons for food, non-food supplies, etc. The adoption fee is usually far less than the cost of the series of puppy/kitten shots, spaying/neutering, etc.

4. Since they have likely already lived in a household, they have better "manners." Barring an anxiety disorder, they are far less likely to chew the furniture, your shoes, or the molding on your doorways like a teething puppy would. And, they tend to be more mellow and happy to keep you company. Older cats already know what not to scratch, and usually know what "no" means. When we adopted 3-year old Micau (cat), if she started to do something that was not allowed, all I had to do was say "Unh-uh" and she'd stop immediately and understand that was off limits.

5. Chances are an older dog will already know some basic commands; but even if they don't, they are fairly easy to train using positive reinforcement and a little patience. It's not true that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Older dogs have a longer attention span than puppies, are more focused, and have some life experience in relating to humans behind them. For example, we adopted my service dog when she was six years old, and she'd had minimal training. Not only were we able to teach her all of the basic obedience commands, but also the service behaviors I needed her to perform--all within the first few months of her living with us.

6. If you have limited time, an older pet may be what you need. Training a puppy or kitten, house-breaking them, teaching them what is and is not appropriate or acceptable behavior, is similar to having a human toddler. It requires a lot of time and energy. Since an older animal has generally mastered the basics, you can spend more of your time just enjoying them.

7. Older animals, especially shelter animals, appreciate being given a second chance at having a forever home. All they want is someone who will love and take care of them. In return, they will give you unconditional love and be the best companion you ever had.

Have you ever adopted an older or senior pet? Share your experiences in the comment section below.

Let the NaNoWriMo Games Begin...

2010-11-01T18:10:00.003-04:00

November is National Novel Writing Month, so what does that mean, exactly?

On November 1, thousands (last year it was 161,870!) people will withdraw from active participation in the "normal" world, sequester themselves in bedrooms, dens, coffee shops, or other venues, and attempt the nerve-wracking challenge of writing a 50,000 word novel in thirty days. Some will drop out for various reasons: illness, family emergencies, the threat of failing out of school, or the overwhelming desire to make sure the rest of the world is still out there. But others will push through exhaustion, loneliness, pressure, and the prospect of losing the continuity of their favorite TV programs (or watching the TiVo'd episodes instead of Christmas programs in December), to reach the pinnacle of word-count mania for the grand prize of having their progress bar turn purple and the thrill of placing a NaNoWriMo "Winner" badge on their webpage or blog. Oh, they may emerge briefly to partake of the turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, but will not truly re-enter society until December 1, when they will reintroduce themselves to their friends, family, and pets, clear out overstuffed in-boxes, and spend the next week or so catching up on Facebook and Twitter.

Last year, I did a daily blog post during NaNo. I'll be posting again this year, but am not sure I'll try to do it on a daily basis. I began this year's NaNo adventure at 12:04 a.m., and exceeded the word count for Day 1. However, for the first time in four years, I'm not sure whether to keep it or scrap it and try again. Either way, the creative juices are flowing, and it is helping me to balance the anxiety of waiting to hear if my son and daughter-in-law made it safely to their Mexican destination.

For those who are new to NaNoWriMo, you might want to read last year's posts in my archives for the history of NaNoWriMo, suggestions for preparing yourself for this crazy writing adventure, tips on the writing process, and more. And don't forget to peruse the various forums on the NaNo site and hook up with some writing buddies for mutual support and inspiration. Until next time...

Oh, the Days Dwindle Down to a Precious Few...

2010-10-16T23:55:00.000-04:00

So sang Old Blue Eyes himself (Frank Sinatra, for those of you too young to remember the Rat Pack). Autumn is half over already, and Christmas is only two months away! I love autumn, but it seems to be on fast-forward this year--maybe because it has been so busy, or maybe because I'm getting older and the days seem to fly by. Sometimes I'd like to shout, "Hey, slow down, let me catch my breath."

October is full of special days: birthdays (daughter Jen, brother David, sister-in-law Karolee, nephew Dennis, and several friends), anniversaries (daughter Sarah and son-in-law Louie's anniversary was the 12th, and several friends also celebrated anniversaries); and we'll also be saying adios (though I prefer au revoir) to our son Davy and daughter-in-law Tracy as they make a quick trip home to Vermont before leaving for Mexico. We're looking forward to having all of the family together for a couple of those "precious few" days, but are also experiencing the parental angst of having part of our family moving so far away and not knowing for how long. So, maybe we should say "vaya con Dios" (go with God) and ask Him so see them safely on their adventure and, eventually, safely home again.

So, in one sense, the days are dwindling down; but in another sense, they're adding up. For there is another anniversary coming up on October 29--the first-year anniversary of this blog. If you have been following along since last October, you will remember that I began Creative Muse Journal in conjunction with National Novel Writing Month which begins every year on November 1, and encourages people to write a 50,000 word short novel in 30 days. (The introductory post and the daily NaNoWriMo posts from 2009 are in the archives, if you want to look them up.) This will be my fourth year participating in NaNoWriMo. Usually, I feel that the timing is not ideal, what with the pressure of celebrating Thanksgiving just when I'm struggling to finish and hit that word count goal, and Christmas looming on the horizon. But this year, maybe the timing is just right because it begins on the same day that Davy and Tracy will be winging their way to Mexico. I will need something to keep my mind occupied, and NaNo certainly does that.

Seasons of Change

2010-09-07T17:07:00.000-04:00

Although it's not officially autumn until September 22 at 11:09 p.m. Eastern Time, harbingers of change are already beginning to appear. Some of the trees in Burlington are sporting flashes of red and orange; the mercury dropped nearly forty degrees overnight a few nights ago, and seems to be on a frenzied dash up and down the thermometer, trying to decide where to land. After setting record highs in the 90s four days in a row this past week, it barely crossed the 70 degree mark yesterday, is supposed to be 83 today, and stepping down by ten degrees each day before leveling off in the mid-60s on Friday, then rebounding into the 70s over the weekend. The early McIntosh apples have already appeared in the produce section of our local supermarket, and my taste buds are gearing up for homemade applesauce, fresh cider, and apple crisp.

The nights will be quieter, too, without the air conditioner humming; and I look forward to that economical breather between turning the a/c off and having to turn the heat on. I'm not quite as bad as Scrooge, who kept his place of business bleak and chilly, informing his poor clerk, Bob Cratchit, that "Garments were invented by the human race as a protection against the cold. Once purchased, they may be used indefinitely for the purpose for which they are intended. Coal burns. Coal is momentary and coal is costly. There will be no more coal burned in this office today, is that quite clear Mr. Cratchit?" However, I do make good use of sweaters and slacks, and usually do not have to turn the heat on until late October or early November, unless we get an early cold snap.

There are other signs of change, too. After a brief (too brief!) respite from Mindy's shedding of last year's undercoat, she is now shedding her summer coat, and that soft, tufted undercoat is growing in again. A friend said she had seen several woollybear caterpillars, looking fat and sassy with wide bands of brown and narrower bands of orange in the middle, and the squirrels are out in force with cheek pouches full to overflowing with seeds and acorns. Does that mean our hot, wet summer will be followed by an early, cold, snowy winter?

Some changes have nothing to do with the changing seasons of the year, and more to do with the changing seasons of life. My son and daughter-in-law informed us a few weeks ago that they are moving to Mexico in a couple of months. As a parent, I am sad to see them move so far away; but, also as a parent, I am thrilled that they are actively following their dreams. Davy has always wanted to live in a warmer climate, somewhere with palm trees, and had been trying to learn Spanish on his own for some time. Since the best way to learn a language is by total immersion, their move to Mexico will certainly afford him that opportunity--along with those palm trees! One of the benefits of having a web-based business is that it can be run from anywhere in the world. Whether or not the move will become permanent remains to be seen; but, in the meantime, there will be some exciting changes in store for them.

On the same day, our daughter Sarah informed us that we are going to be first-time grandparents next spring. David and I are beyond thrilled, and I'm sure my friends will get sick of hearing me talk about it long before my grandchild puts in his or her appearance on planet Earth. I have been looking online at knitting patterns for baby blankets and sweater sets (if you have a favorite pattern, please feel free to share it), started a journal called "Letters from Gramma D," and have been daydreaming of all the things I want to share with this special little one in the future--baking cookies, making crafts, coloring pictures, reading stories, playing "Let's pretend." And then there are all the childhood movies to relive, and seeing the world through a child's eyes again. This is a change I'm very much looking forward to and hope will be repeated.

Some changes are welcome--cooler weather, the approach of the holidays, a new grandchild, new adventures; some are not so welcome--declining health, the illness and death of loved ones, the disappearance of a beloved pet (our daughter Jen's, missing since September 1), having to get by without a car (hopefully not for long), and concerns about our country's economic health and the health of the planet.

How do you meet the challenges that changes bring? What changes are taking place in your life now? Please take a few minutes to share your comments below.

Just Do It!

2010-08-15T18:00:00.000-04:00

Not long ago I read an article titled "Secrets of the Organized" by Jill Cooper. (If you want to read it (it's excellent, by the way), you can find it at http://www.stretcher.com/index.cfm under the heading "Today's Frugal Living Tools.") Tip number five jumped out at me and triggered memories of doing chores on the weekends or during summer vacations when I lived at home growing up.

On any such typical morning, while I was enjoying the tart-sweet tang of a ruby red grapefruit, or the smoky flavor of sizzling bacon with a dropped egg on toast, my mother would sit across the table and begin orally reciting all the chores I was to do that day: make your bed, then dust your room, don't forget to clean the mirrors, empty your wastebasket, vacuum the floor, and then mop it. Be sure to let the floor dry before putting your throw rugs back down. Oh, and change your bed before you begin cleaning, and bring me your laundry so I can get that started. When you finish your room, you can start on the bathroom, then help me bring in the laundry off the clothesline, help fold it, and put it away. No matter how many times I had successfully performed these tasks in the past, she felt it necessary to give me detailed instructions on how to accomplish them.

Sometimes, there were other chores: washing the windows, taking down the drapes so they could be cleaned, brushing down the ceilings and walls, and other monthly or seasonal chores. Since I liked to iron and she didn't, that often fell to me, too. And, of course, sometimes I helped with the baking, which I also enjoyed.

It always seemed to me that by the time breakfast was over, I was exhausted. It took me several years to realize why. With my mother's rehearsal of tasks, it felt like doing the work twice. And sometimes, she'd go over the list a second or third time to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, and that I knew exactly what was expected. I realize, now, that this was her way of organizing her day; but it often left me feeling totally depleted of energy.

Talking about your work before doing it isn't the same as making out a "To Do List." The list is a guide you write once, then check off as you go. It's a great way to have a visual aid to what you've accomplished, and gives you a feeling of achievement. Nor am I talking about procrastination, which is a delaying tactic for putting off your tasks as long as possible. What I'm talking about is over-thinking what has to be done and mentally wearing yourself out before you even get started.

Since my strength and energy are limited now, I can't afford to waste either on just talking about what needs to be done. Sometimes I make a list; other times I don't. But when the energy is flowing, I've found the best way to get something done is to just DO it! Dive in, make a start, and keep going until it's finished.

Do you have a hard time getting things done because you think or talk about them too much first? What helps you get your tasks accomplished? Do you make a list? Do you have a household "chore chart"? Do you set a timer or put on some music? Or do you just dig in after you have that morning cup of coffee? What works for you? Please share your comments and thoughts below.

Time Flies When You're...

2010-08-06T00:30:00.004-04:00

My watch stopped a week ago, and it got me thinking about time. I hadn't intended to take time off from writing my blog, yet my last post was in June, and here we are in August! I was here. My blog was here. But somehow, we just didn't seem to have the time to connect, and time kept marching on.

There's an old saying that, "Time flies when you're having fun." The truth is, time flies whether you're having fun or not. Sometimes we can have so much to do, even fun things, that we become overwhelmed and either try to plow on, making mistakes as we go, or we come to a screeching halt, try to get our bearings, and reevaluate. This is true in our work lives with multiple tasks and responsibilities, deadlines, appointments, reports, phone calls, meetings, etc. And with many companies trying to save money by cutting back staff, it sometimes means one employee has to take on the additional work previously done by another. Then when you add in our personal lives (some might ask, "What personal life?"), there is even less time, and more pressure and stress. How can you keep your balance, perform at work, and keep your home life from falling apart, as well?

At work, if you're feeling overwhelmed and need help, the first thing to do is admit it to yourself. Then, talk to your supervisor. Explain the situation to him/her and ask what things he wants you to focus on and what can be either delegated to someone else or set aside for later. Some employers are willing to work with their employees to create a better, more productive work environment, and others are not. If your boss is not approachable, try to set up a priority system for yourself and track your workload and what gets done. See if you can find a more efficient way of handling tasks such as setting aside a specific time each day for correspondence, returning phone calls, etc., if practical in your situation. Be flexible. If something isn't working, try to find another way of doing it.

Some employers have instituted 5-10 minute breaks/naps each hour and have found that workers increase productivity when they have these breaks. Whether just closing your eyes, meditating, or going for a walk outside or down the hall, breaking up the routine can revive you if you're flagging. Set a timer, though, so you don't doze off for too long. The goal is a mini-break, not a pink slip.

If you work with a team and have weekly meetings, see if you can discuss ways of diminishing overload. Perhaps if one person has less to do on a given day, they could help ease the burden for a coworker who is overwhelmed that day. If everyone is equally out straight, suggest the idea of hiring a temporary employee to ease the burden until things are on a more even keel.

If the stress is affecting your health, make a doctor's appointment and discuss ways of handling stress more efficiently. Talk with your boss or supervisor and see if he is willing to work with you to cut back your workload, at least temporarily. If you're having serious health problems, and all else has failed, it might be time to start looking for a different job.

At home, make caring for your living space a family affair. Even preschoolers can help pick up toys and laundry, help feed pets (with parental supervision), clean up spills with a paper towel or sponge, and dust things that are at their level either with a cloth or by using a sock on their hand. You might post a household "Chore Chart" that lists what needs to be done each day, and who has the responsibility for completing that specific chore. Rewards for completing assigned tasks could be a favorite activity, staying up a half-hour past bedtime, watching a favorite DVD, an allowance, etc. If you have a family meeting and let the kids pick and choose their chores, based on age appropriateness, they may feel more invested in doing them. Or, you could rotate chores from week to week, let family members draw tasks written on slips of paper in a "job jar," or whatever method will work best for your family given the number of people and ages. Be creative.

If there are larger projects at home that need doing, and the adults in the home are too busy to do them, consider hiring someone. Depending on the project, you might be able to find a middle- or high-school student who is looking to make some money over the summer or on weekends. Cleaning, painting, weeding, mowing, and even grocery shopping are just some of the chores that can be hired out that don't necessarily require a professional to do them.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said in a poem, "...time is fleeting..." Life is too short to cram each minute full of activity. Our minds and bodies need time to rest, recoup, de-stress. Like a pressure cooker needs to have the steam released periodically to keep it from blowing it's top off, so do we need ways of taking the pressure off or it will manifest in physical, emotional, or mental eruptions.

How do you balance your time between work, family, self-care, hobbies, etc? Does your boss allow for mini-breaks? Have you found a way to successfully handle job stress? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

Decluttering A Cluttered Mind

2010-06-07T16:15:00.002-04:00

It happens to everyone sooner or later. You crawl into bed, turn out the light, close your eyes...and suddenly your mind is like the freeway during morning rush hour. Things left undone, plans for your son's birthday party, an article you read in the paper that you want to remember to discuss with your sister, the grocery list you forgot to write down, projects, people, appointments, ideas are swimming in your brain keeping sleep at bay even though your body is exhausted.

During the day, it's not much better. You flit from one thing to another, never seeming to finish anything. As you unpack the groceries you just bought, you suddenly remember the oil you needed for cooking tonight's supper, or the special dessert your husband expressly asked you to pick up. Now, you have to waste time with a second trip to the store. Or, you are half-way through preparing dinner when you remember that your husband said you were dining out with his boss and his wife tonight! "What's wrong with me?" you wonder. "Am I losing my mind?"

The short answer is "no, you're not losing it." But perhaps you've misplaced it under the mound of things you've shoved in there, willy-nilly, like your junk drawer or that back closet where things get dumped until "later." Your mind isn't lost, it's just cluttered. So, how do you unclutter it?

Write things down, whether you use pen and paper or an electronic alternative (such as a Palm Pilot or an app on your iPod). Now, instead of having to remember everything in your head, all you have to remember is where you put your notebook or PDA! To solve that problem, designate a spot for it--your purse, your desk, a corner of the kitchen counter--wherever you will be sure to see it. Assign it a "home," and be consistent in putting it there after every use.

Make lists, then organize and prioritize your them: appointments, birthdays/anniversaries, meetings, chores, errands, etc. Make it a habit to review your lists for the week on Saturday night so you are prepared for the week ahead.

Enter all appointments, special dates, and meetings into your calendar, whether a paper one, or electronic. If electronic, you can set reminders.

For chores, make another list and organize it by room, then by day of the week, and add separate sections for monthly, quarterly, semi-annual, and annual chores. Write out the daily chores, by room, on a set of index cards, with additional cards for the monthly, quarterly, etc., chores. Keep these in a small box, basket, or jar. Or, you may want to keep them in a section of a master binder. If you have a spouse or children you can enlist to help with the chores, you might wish to invest in a large hanging calendar with wipe-off or tear-off sheets. In this way, you can assign chores and mark appointments, and each person will know exactly what they are responsible for and when. As chores are accomplished, they can be checked off. Use a different colored pen for each member of the family so you can see at a glance who'd doing what and going where, and when. This method worked great for our family when our kids were growing up.

To organize shopping lists, such as groceries, look in your word processor or online for a template. Or, make up your own. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into sections, and list major headings such as Produce, Dairy, Canned Goods, Meat, Dry goods, Frozen Foods, Pet Supplies, Cleaning Supplies, Paper Products, Bathroom Supplies, Miscellaneous. Under each heading, list the items you use. For example, under Produce, list apples, peaches, pears, grapes, bell peppers, mushrooms, lettuce, cabbage, potatoes, etc. Place a blank line in front of each item so you can check off what you need to buy. Use this as your guide when composing your weekly grocery list. If you keep it on the front of your refrigerator, it will be easy to check off needed items as you run out of them, so nothing is forgotten.

On another page in your notebook or binder, make a list of family members and friends for whom you buy gifts. Under each person's name, write their clothing sizes, color preferences, and specific items you know they like or want.

At the beginning of each month, check your calendar and gift list, write out cards for the month, make out your shopping list, and make one trip to shop for everyone who has a birthday or anniversary that month. Then you'll have everything on hand when the date rolls around. If you go ahead and address and stamp the envelopes, all you'll need to do is drop them in the mail a few days before the actual date. Many online card websites have a feature that lets you select the delivery date, so you could select all of your cards at the beginning of the month, set the various delivery dates, and your cards will be delivered electronically on time.

Don't forget to organize your household bills, too. Place them by due date in a basket, desktop mail holder, or some other designated spot. If you don't pay them as they come in, then set aside a day and time each week, or biweekly, to pay them. Keep them near your stamps and address labels, so you have everything readily available when you need it. Or, you can arrange for online payment and save paper, postage, and time.

Once every two or three months, check your master list and see if you need to revise it. If something isn't working, scrap it and try something else until you find what works for you.

Keep a journal or notebook on the nightstand beside your bed. Make a habit of journaling every night before you go to bed...not just a diary of what you did that day, but your feelings, thoughts, emotions, ideas. If you have a hard time getting to sleep because something keeps buzzing around in your brain, jot it down in the journal. By doing this, you free up your mind from having to remember so much, and can better relax and drift off.

Oh, and while you're decluttering, why not get rid of all that negative self-talk, and the negative things other people have said that bother you? If you can't just forget them, then defuse them by substituting positive statements. Live in the now. Don't let the past ruin your present.

There are many helpful organizing sites online. One I especially like is Maria Gracia's "Get Organized Now," http://www.getorganizednow.com/index.html. You can also subscribe to her free monthly newsletter, get free organizing tips, a monthly organizing calendar, and other useful information and tools to help you get and stay organized.

Now that you've decluttered your mind, why not put it to better use by doing something creative or fun? Read a book (or write one!), get out your camera and take some pictures, go for a walk, go to a museum, attend a lecture or concert, take a class, bake a cake and decorate it, try out a new recipe, teach your dog or cat a new trick. Do something just for fun, and just for you.

Do you have some other ideas, suggestions, or comments? Share them in the comment section below.

Virtual Clutter, Real Problem

2010-05-15T14:10:00.000-04:00

The way we send and receive mail has come a long way from when Benjamin Franklin became the first Post Master General in 1775, to the pony express--brave riders on horseback who traveled across dangerous territory, risking life and limb, through all kinds of weather, to carry mail from one part of the country to another between April 1860 to November of 1861, to the present day. Mail has been transported by trains, ships, trucks, and airplanes. Delivery times were cut from several months to, in some cases, same day delivery. Then came the computer age and electronic mail (e-mail), delivering correspondence instantly -- sometimes to the embarrassment of the sender when the "Send" button was hit too quickly, resulting in only half a message being sent, or worse, sending it to the wrong person.

E-mail has certainly made communication easier; but, as with postal (or "snail") mail, e-mail can become another clutter trap. I remember the first time my in-box maxed out at 1000 pieces of e-mail. How did this happen? For one thing, as with paper mail and magazines, I had sometimes been in a hurry, or been ill and unable to check e-mail for a few days, resulting in a backlog. Or, I would save the mail in my in-box because there was an article or a newsletter I wanted to read "later." Although I had created files for various categories of mail, there were some things that just didn't seem to fit anywhere, so they, too, ended up hanging out in the in-box indefinitely.

If you struggle to keep e-mail under control, here are some suggestions to help tame it:

If you get a lot of e-mail, check it at least once a day, if possible.

Delete obvious junk mail without opening it. Set up your spam filter to catch most junk mail before it even enters your in-box.

As with paper mail, open it only once. Then either answer it, discard it, or file it.

Set up folders to organize those e-mails you want or need to save, but be selective in what you keep. Name the folders so you can find the material easily.

If you're in a hurry, flag e-mail that needs further action. That way, the next time you log on, you won't waste time hunting through your in-box trying to find those items that need your attention.

Don't sign up for anything online unless you know you will read and use it.

Remove yourself from newsletters that you don't have time to read.

Ask your friends to remove you from group mailings they send out. Instead, ask them to use the BCC (blind carbon copy) feature to minimize the risk of spammers getting your e-mail address.

For message boards and newsgroups, either read the posts on the web, or change your setting from having all posts sent to you to having a daily or weekly summary, instead.

If you send out newsletters or other information to a group of people, set up a distribution list. This saves you from having to write the same letter over and over to each individual, as well as minimizing the number of copies you need to keep for future reference.

Delete everything you don't absolutely need. Will you REALLY go back and read an article in a newsletter that is number 899 out of 1000--that is, IF you even remember that you wanted to read it, or have any idea where it is in that sea of e-mail in your in-box? Could you find the information by using your search engine instead?

If there is mail you really need to keep indefinitely, burn it to a CD or save it on a thumb drive or other external drive. That way you can delete it from your in-box.

I hope these tips will help you stay organized and keep you from becoming overwhelmed by virtual clutter. How do you deal with your e-mail? Share your tips and comments in the comment section below.

Let's Talk Trash: Dealing with Paper, Junk Mail, and More

2010-05-08T18:30:00.001-04:00

Every spring, our apartment complex brings in dumpsters for an annual "Dumpster Day." This gives residents an opportunity to clear out the year's accumulated clutter, toss trash, recycle, and even participate in a site-wide tag sale. However, it's not long after the dumpsters have been towed away, that the worst clutter offender rears its head again--paper!

Even though most people proclaim that we live in an "electronic age," there is still a lot of paper that enters our lives on a daily basis. I must confess, I've always had a special affinity for paper, whether books, notebooks, magazines, writing paper, or cards. I jokingly tell people that I must have been a tree in a former life, and I like to have my "relatives" close by. I like the tactile nature of paper products. E-books have their place and can help you tame clutter, but I still like to be able to feel the texture of the cover, the smoothness of the pages, and have a sense of connection that holding an actual book in your hands provides. However, you can make wise choices to control the number of books taking up space in your home. (More on that below.)

Most of the paper entering our homes today is in the form of newspapers, magazines, junk mail, and bills. In a busy world, it's easy to toss these aside to read "later." Next thing we know, there's a pile of paper where the coffee table, or even the kitchen table, used to be. What's worse is that we may overlook a bill that's due because it's buried in a pile of junk.

If you need to tame the paper monster in your home, here are some tips that might help:

P - Place a small basket or box on a table to collect your incoming mail, preferably near a wastebasket, so that all the mail is in one place. When you open the mail, toss fillers, outside envelopes (unless you use the outer envelopes of bills to record the due dates), outer wrappers, and anything that is obviously "junk."

A - Add your name/address to the National Do Not Mail List. For info go to: http://www.directmail.com/directory/mail_preference/. If you receive junk mail with a prestamped, preaddressed return envelope, write "Remove me from your mailing list" on the return slip inside or a piece of paper, and mail it to the company in the prepaid envelope.

P - Pick it up to sort through only once. Deal with junk mail immediately by opening it, removing any personally identifiable information (which you will shred), and throw the rest in the wastebasket. Place bills to be paid in a file folder or mail holder until you are ready to pay them. If you are one of the rare, lucky people who still receives letters and cards by postal mail, place these in a letter holder or basket on your desk until you can respond to them. Make it a goal to deal with replies within a week of receipt.

E - Explore the online bill-paying service from your bank, and pay your bills electronically so the paper bills don't enter your home in the first place.

R - Recycle paper (some areas require that white office paper and colored paper be bundled separately for recycling, others do not; so check with your local department of public works or recycling service), newspaper, magazines, and cardboard. Staples do not have to be removed, but DO remove plastic clips or bindings, rubber bands, plastic stickers, membership cards, wire spiral bindings, and plastic wrappers. By the way, shredded paper makes great packing material if you send packages to relatives or friends at holiday time, but use a cross-cut shredder for added security--another way to recycle.

And here are some additional tips:

Don't sign up for special magazine subscriptions that have an automatic renewal service unless you are certain you will want to continue your subscription beyond the reduced rate period. Don't subscribe just because a magazine offers a "super savings" rate. If you're not going to read it, you're just wasting your money and adding to the clutter.

Keep magazines by your chair or bed. If you haven't read them in a month, or by the time the next issue arrives, put them in the recycle box. If there is an article you want to read or save, tear out the article instead of saving the whole magazine. Then set a time to read the article and either throw it out afterward or file it away.

Use a filing cabinet or file box for storing receipts that must be kept for tax purposes.

Give each family member a "memory box" in which to store personal memorabilia, including special cards and letters. Scrapbooks or binders with clear pockets can be used for storing special cards and postcards, programs from concerts or plays, etc.

To keep your home from looking like the local lending library, you might want to invest in an e-reader. With several different brands on the market, you can choose which works best for you. If you have books you will never read again, you can donate them to your library or public school for their book sales, take them to a used book store, or sell them through Amazon or eBay. Only collect print books of value to you, or by your favorite author(s); and recycle the rest by one of the aforementioned methods, or by donating them to prisons, homeless shelters, or hospitals. Call first to make sure they are accepting donations. You can also check online at http://for.theloveofbooks.com/2009/03/donate-books/ or http://www.gotbooks.com/.

So, how do you tame the clutter in your home? Do you have a hard time deciding what to keep and what to toss? Share your tips and trials in the comment section below.

Next time: Virtual Clutter

Cleaning, Clutter, and Chronic Pain/Illness

2010-05-01T23:40:00.001-04:00

Spring housecleaning! Our mothers and grandmothers tackled this job as soon as the weather permitted the windows and doors to be opened to air out the house after the long winter. Then began the ritual of cleaning everything--furniture, upholstery, drapes, ceilings, walls, woodwork, floors, porcelain, etc. By the time they were done, everything had been picked up, put away, scrubbed clean, and the house and its contents looked fresh and neat.

I can remember tying a scarf around my head, putting on an old shirt and jeans, pinning a towel over the broom or dustmop, and pacing back and forth, back and forth, arms stretched over my head, as I walked the length and breadth of the livingroom, kitchen, or whatever room I happened to be in, removing dustwebs and dust from the ceiling. The walls got the same treatment--up and down, up and down, with the broom or dustmop--after the furniture had been pushed into the middle of the room section by section. Then the drapes and upholstery were vacuumed, the rest of the furniture was dusted, the floor was vacuumed and then mopped--everything done in that precise order so you weren't getting dust on things that had already been cleaned. Throw rugs were taken outside, draped over the clothesline or porch railing, and beaten until the previously trapped dust had floated away on the breeze. (You always made sure you weren't standing downwind, or you'd end up looking like a dust bunny yourself!)

This ritual was passed down from my grandmother to my mother, and from her to me. I continued it in my own home for many years. But, after beginning my journey with chronic pain and illness, that kind of in-depth spring (and fall) cleaning went proverbially "out the window." I could no longer raise my arms over my head long enough to complete even one swipe across the ceiling, let alone do the whole thing. And I no longer had the energy to complete the cleaning of a whole room, never mind the whole house! Housecleaning tasks that I used to do daily, gradually became weekly, and sometimes monthly, semi-annually, or not until someone else could do them.

I once read a quote that said, "A house should be clean enough to be healthy, and messy enough to look lived in." Mine definitely looks "lived in." It's amazing what you accumulate in thirty-plus years of marriage and raising a family. And I swear paper multiplies at night while we're sleeping! In addition to my own things, there are things that had belonged to my mother that passed to me after her death, and had to be removed from her house before it could be sold. So, I ended up with a dresser in the kitchen and boxes in the livingroom behind the sofa--whatever didn't have its own niche was boxed and piled to be gone through at a later date. Another old proverb often quoted is, "A place for everything, and everything in its place." But lives get busy, things get set down to be taken care of "later," especially after an emotional upheaval like the death of a loved one, and later keeps getting pushed further into the future.

I just want to point out here that there is a difference between clutter and hoarding. Clutter accumulates when we are busy, tired, or just plain too lazy to put things where they go or throw out what isn't needed. Hoarding is an illness, a compulsion to keep things because there is an emotional attachment (rational or not) to everything that crosses our path. For some, it might be a compulsion to buy clothes, even if they remain in the original bags with the tags on them for years on end. For others, it's the inability to distinguish what is useful from what is not because "I might need it some day" or because they feel that throwing things out is "wasteful." Hoarders, as seen on two recent TV series--"Hoarders" on A&E TV and "Hoarding: Buried Alive" on TLC--need help from both a mental health professional and an expert organizer, preferably one who is familiar with the dynamics of hoarding. A person with too much clutter, on the other hand, may just need a system, or plan, and perhaps some physical help to deal with the "stuff" that has accumulated, especially if they are physically limited by chronic pain and exhaustion.

There are any number of books on the market to help you deal with clutter problems. I know, because I have several of them cluttering up--I mean located on--my bookcases. Here are some that you may be familiar with: Getting Organized from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern, Clutter's Last Stand by Don Azlett, The Messies Manual by Sandra Felton, and many others. These are three, though, that I've found helpful in my own war against clutter.

No matter what book you use, or what strategy you decide to employ, the first thing you need to do is draw up a plan of attack. Don't just dive in because that can lead to frustration and a worse mess. Then try some of these strategies:

Start with one room, or one part of a room, at a time.
Divide the job into several smaller jobs.
Try to enlist help from family or friends if you can't do it alone.
Have whatever materials you will need ready, such as boxes labeled "Toss," "Donate," "Sell," "Keep," or whatever works for you.
Decide how long you will work, and set a timer. Say you set the timer for 20 minutes. At the end of that time, decide if you want to keep going or if that's enough for the day. If you decide to go for another 20 minutes, that's fine. Just don't overdo.
Schedule in breaks so you don't wear yourself out one day and do nothing the rest of the week. After you finish one of the smaller tasks, take a coffee break and sit outside for 10 minutes, or listen to your favorite music.
When you finish the task set for the day, evaluate: what worked for you? what didn't? what can you do differently next time?
Reward yourself for a job well-done, even if all you cleaned off was an end table. By doing a little bit at a time, over time, you'll reap the reward of a more orderly home and the satisfaction of what you've accomplished.

There are also clutter support groups online, such as http://flylady.com. Or, talk to a couple of your friends about getting together and taking turns helping each other with the decluttering with the hostess serving refreshments afterward.

What are your clutter issues? Have you tried using a book, or a support group? What worked for you? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comment section below.

Next: Dealing with Paper and Junk Mail

All Plans Are Tentative

2010-03-22T14:27:00.013-04:00

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." -- Anna Quindlen

The above quotation is one of the Story Circle Network's writing prompts for this week, and it seemed like the perfect way to begin the first-quarter evaluation of my goals for this year. How about you--are you still working on the goals you set back in January? Did you give up before the month was out, or are you making progress? Did your initial enthusiasm for accomplishing great things this year peter out in the light of reality? Did you expect too much of yourself, too many changes, too many projects, and get bogged down in them all? Did you give up and decide to try again next year? Or are you still going strong?

No matter how good our intentions, life has a way of throwing us curves that derail even the best-laid plans. Then we beat ourselves up because we didn't do what we said we'd do, and before we know it we have talked ourselves into giving up altogether. If we can't be perfect, we might as well quit, right? Wrong, because perfect doesn't exist. We are humans, and being human means being imperfect. Don't let a false, unrealistic ideal prevent you from doing anything. Do what works for you.

When I began sharing my goals in January, I had no way of knowing I would sustain another hand injury in February, which greatly hampered my ability to type and keep up with my blog and other writing goals. Also, when you live with chronic pain and illness, as I do, the reality is that all plans are tentative because you never know from one day to the next how you will feel, or how much energy you'll have. Fortunately, my family and friends have come to understand this.

Even if you've gotten off course, there is no need to give up entirely. Take some time right now to review the goals you set in January. Looking back over the past three months, what were your problem areas? Instead of allowing yourself to be overcome with discouragement, take this opportunity to reevaluate and prioritize your goals. Make note of what was working and what was not. Did you take on too much given the amount of time and energy you have? Looking at your goals, decide what is the most important thing for you to accomplish this year, and focus on that one goal. Work on the others as time permits, but let go of the guilt if you have to put those off for later. Now that we're three months into the year, you're in a better position to evaluate what is realistic for you and what is not.

My overriding goal for this year was to find at least one thing each day for which to be thankful or grateful, and to strive to maintain a positive attitude and outlook. Although, at times, this has been difficult, it has been a valuable challenge and daily reminder of the blessings in my life. Abraham Lincoln said, "If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will." I believe the inverse is also true, and not just about people but about events. If you look for the good--in people, in life-- you will surely find it--and I have. Moral: Make a game of it, a personal challenge to find even one good thing each day, and it will improve both your mood and your outlook.

The second goal was to begin revisions on my work in progress. I got off to a good start, then lost momentum with the hand injury and have had a hard time getting back into it. Since this goal is important to me, I have once again hooked up with my writing buddy from last November's National Novel Writing Month, for mutual support, encouragement, and accountability. As of today, I'm back on track. Moral: If you got derailed, pick up from where you left off and keep going. Don't make quitting an option. Schedule in "breaks" to allow for unexpected interruptions in your plans.

The third goal was to declutter one day a week. This goal has become a habit, now, even though there have been three Thursdays (not consecutive) when it wasn't possible to do this: twice because of my hand injury, and once because of an appointment that took up the afternoon. Even so, I have made good progress, and even spent two days decluttering one week to make up for missing it the week before. Moral: Be flexible. If you have to miss working on a goal on it's scheduled day, work on it a different day...or work on it two days that week. Don't be so rigid that you miss opportunities to make progress.

Goal four was to join two offline writer's groups. In February, I joined the Women's Story Circle Network, founded by author Susan Wittig Albert in 1997. Their mission statement is to help women share the stories of their lives and raise public awareness of the importance of women's personal histories. However, I have not yet joined a second writing group because I realized I needed more information about the degree of involvement and time commitment that might be required, before taking that step. Moral: Perhaps it's better to start with one group, and be able to really participate, than to join two and not be able to give either one the time or attention to make the experience a valuable one.

The last goal was to get a package of memorabilia from my mother's house mailed to my brother. I hadn't realized the emotional impact, nearly two years after her death, that dealing with her things would still have. That, combined with the physical exhaustion of chronic illness, has caused delaying this goal--especially since there is the possibility they might come to visit this spring and would be able to take the box back with them rather than me having to ship it to them. Moral: Self-imposed deadlines are not always meant to be written in stone, especially if there may be more than one option for accomplishing the goal.

To summarize, when working on goals:

Make a game of it.
Don't quit, keep going.
Be flexible.
Start small.
Look for other options.

So, how are you doing so far with your goals for this year? If you got derailed, will you join me in getting back on track? We still have nine months, three-quarters of this year, in which to achieve our goals. And for those who have managed to keep working steadily on your goals, share with us what keeps you motivated. Do you give yourself rewards along the way? What works for you? Leave your thoughts/comments in the comment section.

P.S. One of my goals for this week was to post a new blog entry and bring my gratitude journal up to date. Accomplished! YAY!

It's Not Easy Being Green

2010-03-08T18:00:00.000-05:00

Even Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street had to admit, "It's not easy being green," perhaps, in part, because the word "green" performs so many different functions in the English language.

As a child, probably the first thing I learned about the word green was that it is a color, and could be made by mixing blue and yellow. Green is abundant in our world. It is the color of grass, leaves, certain insects, moss, pond scum, four-leaf clovers, paper money (until the US got more colorful with its currency), and my favorite outfit. It is also a category of vegetables, and my mother always told us to eat our greens: lettuce, cabbage, broccoli, peas, zucchini, green beans, green peppers, olives, avocados. A green salad was often served with dinner, and in the summer we looked forward to cooked greens: beet greens (especially if the tiny beets were still attached), spinach, Swiss chard, and more. A green light meant "go"--if it faced you, it was safe to cross the street; if it faced oncoming cars, you'd be smart to wait until the light changed. If you were given the "green light" at work, it meant you could proceed with your project.

Green could also mean that something wasn't ripe. I learned quickly that green concord grapes were sour, green bananas were hard, but green tomatoes were delicious if dipped in egg and cornflake crumbs and fried. Green wine meant it hadn't fully matured and was apt to have a harsh, acidic flavor. Green lumber had to dry out before it could be used in building, and furniture made with green wood could splinter when it dried out or pull apart at the joinings. Using green wood in your fireplace would smoke up the house. Green pottery hadn't yet been fired in a kiln, and green cement wasn't fully dried out and hardened, as we discovered when my dog left paw prints in the newly poured foundation of the breezeway connecting the house with the garage.

Someone new on the job was green, meaning inexperienced. And, if he'd been working a while but still made mistakes or didn't understand, he was considered "still green." A green recruit was one who had just enlisted in the service; and if he wore his "greens," it meant he had on his blue-green uniform. People from the West referred to people from the East who moved West as "greenhorns." A person could be green with envy, or turn green if he was going to be sick. And if you came here from another country, you had to have your "green card" if you didn't want to get into trouble with the Immigration Service.

At Christmas time, churches celebrate the "hanging of the greens," which means they decorate the church with evergreen boughs. And you hope you won't be short of "green" (money) so you can buy presents for everyone.

A town square or common is often referred to as the "village green." Closely cropped grass at a golf course might be referred to as the "putting green," a shooting range for archery is also called the "green," and a "bowling green" was used for lawn bowling.

Song titles and lyrics even used the word green in them. We listened to "The Ballad of the Green Beret" by Barry Sadler, "Bowling Green" by the Everly Brothers, "The Green, Green, Grass of Home" by Tom Jones, "The Green Leaves of Summer" by the Brothers Four, "Green, Green" by the Kingston Trio, and even the theme song from the TV show, "Green Acres."

Today, the word "green" also refers to something that is environmentally friendly. We have green computers, green cars, green fuels, green (natural) fibers, green jobs, and countless web sites that teach us ways in which to "green" our homes by using fuel efficient and environmentally sound appliances and products. And every year communities celebrate Green-up Day in the spring, when people volunteer to go out and pick up litter in their neighborhoods and along the highways.

Even the health industry has gone "green." Green smoothies are promoted as an easy, delicious way of getting in the recommended daily servings of fruits and vegetables. Green smoothies are rich in vitamins and other nutrients, are satisfying, give you energy, and can even help you lose weight or maintain your ideal weight. You can find recipes, articles, and how-to videos at such sites as Incredible Smoothies (www.incrediblesmoothies.com) and their soon-to-be-launched sister site, Incredible Raw (www.incredibleraw.com).

So, if you're feeling blue, are in a black mood, you're having trouble with some gray areas, or even if life is rosy and you're in the pink of health, maybe what you need is a little "green" in your life. As Kermit says at the end of the song, "I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful, and I think it's what I want to be."

The Longest Night

2010-02-27T23:30:00.004-05:00

Today is the anniversary of my father's death forty-eight years ago. He died the day before my oldest brother's birthday, and just two and a half weeks before mine. My father had rarely been sick, and had never missed work due to illness. He always said that the day he couldn't go to work was the day he would die.

The Longest Night

When I was thirteen,

I sat beside my mother

at the foot of his bed,

listening to the steady

t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k

of the clock on the wall,

to the steady

drip - drip - drip of the IV,

the s t e a d y

R I S E and f a l l

as the lungs

F I L L, e m p t y, F I L L

as the nurse takes his pulse,

as the light outside grays to dusk,

blackens to night,

as the steady

t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k

of the clock on the wall

counts out my father's life

second by second,

as the drip - drip - drip - of the IV goes on,

the breathing becomes labored

the chest RISES . . . p a u s e s . . . fa l l s,

and the lungs begin shutting down

as the nurse takes his pulse again

and shakes her head,

and the steady t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k, t-i-c-k

of the clock goes on,

the chest R I S E S . . . f a l l s . . . stops,

as the nurse removes the IV,

and shakes her head,

the light of my childhood

grays to dusk,

blackens to night,

and he's gone.

--Donna B. Russell

Snow Days

2010-02-19T18:44:00.001-05:00

A few nights ago on the news, the reporter said there had been snow in forty-nine states, with Hawaii being the only exception. I know that many of my friends have been shoveling most of the winter, with snowfalls of two to three feet burying not only lawns, but decks, cars, and shrubs. But in my little corner of Vermont we have only had one significant snowfall, and for most of the winter we've had bare, or nearly bare, ground. For the most part, temperatures, too, have been unseasonably mild...not like when I was growing up.

It seems to me, that when I was a child, we had to really bundle up all winter--thermal underwear, flannel shirts, winter weight slacks or woolen skirts, thick tights and knee-high socks, heavy sweaters, wool jackets or coats, warm woolen mittens, scarves, hats, and fleece-lined boots. It took so long to get ready to go out that we didn't have much time to play before an early dusk, and we were called in for supper.

I remember hiking up the hill to school, sometimes knee-deep in snow because the sidewalks hadn't yet been cleared, arriving at my classroom with numb, red cheeks and nose, and mittens, snowpants, and boots caked with snow. There were times when we had so much snow during the morning that school was canceled in the afternoon and we were sent home to enjoy our unexpected half-holiday sledding or building snow forts and having snowball fights with friends, or building snowmen. Mothers listened to local radio stations while preparing breakfast, waiting for those fateful school cancellations, that meant their plans for the day would be altered because the kids would be staying home. Children also listened to the radio while getting ready for school, hoping to hear the announcement of liberation before they headed out the door. No matter what the conditions, my father would always tell us that we "had it easy," not like when he was a boy. "We didn't have snow days," he'd say, then launch into one of his stories about walking for miles in blizzard conditions to get an education.

Several years ago, while taking a writing course online, my father's tales and a winter photograph inspired the following poem. I want to dedicate this to my friends who have had more than their share of snow days this winter, and to those of us who wish we had at least one or two.

Do you have a favorite "snow days" memory? Please share it in the comments section.

SNOW DAYS

Outside,

Gray-limbed skeletons bow and sway

While verdant maidens curtsy in the wind.

Cherry-red barns with powdered sugar roofs

And lemon-meringue windows wait to welcome

Plaid-clad farmers come to milk rust-brown cows.

Across the street, the white-robed church

Points a gray, bony finger toward a steel blue sky.

Inside,

Golden pancakes, gilded with butter,

Line up to be baptized in maple syrup.

Clouds of whipped cream

Swim in mud-brown lakes of cocoa.

Bacon snaps and crackles in the black-backed skillet

Of scrambled eggs and homefries.

Chairs scrape, voices blend in a medley

Of "good morning," "pass the potatoes,"

And "Thank You, God, for food to eat..."

Bob clicks on the radio, a voice crackles--

"Because of the snow, no school today..."

And the rest is drowned in loud hurrahs

As mother groans, and father says, again,

"When I was a boy, we didn't have snow days."

--Donna B. Russell

Little Things

2010-02-09T19:40:00.003-05:00

Last week was very busy, one of those in which "life" intruded on my plans, resulting in very few checkmarks on my To Do List. All of a sudden, it's the middle of another week, and I wonder, "Where did the time go?" If you're like me, there are times when it seems too many things demand your attention--those pesky "urgent" things that hound you during the day and keep you from falling asleep at night. Suddenly, mole hills become mountains, draining energy like a hole in a levee, until you're drowning in a flood of undone tasks, including overdue blog entries. Yet, it seems that when we are caught up in busy-ness, it's then that we are more likely to feel we haven't accomplished anything, and life seems empty.

The other day, while reading my Twitter feed, I came across this comment by Mariel Hemingway: "Life is full when you pay attention to the little things." Is that what's missing, I wondered? Do we get so caught up in the multitude of demands on our time that we fail to notice the "little things" that make our lives worth living? Those things that, if we would pause for a moment to notice, would add joy, laughter, and balance to an otherwise stressful day? What would happen if we consciously looked for those things, took even a minute, off and on throughout our day, to seek out the little, everyday, extraordinarily ordinary things?

Weekend before last, I wasn't looking forward to my week. It began on Monday with a dental appointment--just a regular semi-annual cleaning and checkup. No big deal...except that, from the time I was a child, I have felt panic when facing a dentist, my earliest experiences having been just short of torture. It has taken me fifty years to get to where I can sit in the chair without shaking, but there is always that underlying apprehension. Fortunately, my dentist and hygienist understand, and do everything they can to minimize my anxiety. The appointment was uneventful--no cavities, no problems, no shaking chair, and my teeth will remain in their place of origin. So, what "little things" helped to transform a highlly stressful experience into a much less stressful one? Things like my hygienist keeping the back of the chair elevated more than usual because she knew my back was hurting that day, giving me a second cup to rinse out in so I didn't have to twist to use the sink (I can't stand the squirt and suction option), and chatting with me about my kids, her kids, our pets, so that the time passed quickly. As a result, I forgot to be nervous! Her little attentions and accommodations to my needs made all the difference.

Tuesday, we not only had to take our new cat, Micau, for her first vet checkup, but our dog Mindy had a slight problem that needed a professional hand. I was grateful that they were able to squeeze her in before Micau's appointment so that we didn't have to make two trips. Our vet, too, does "little things" that make us and our animals more comfortable during our visits. She bubbles over with love for her job and for her patients, and you can't help smiling as soon as she enters the room. She takes time to pat and talk to them, to answer our questions, involves us in the decision-making process regarding their healthcare, and isn't afraid to show emotion when an animal has to be put down. Her willingness to make herself vulnerable, and the genuine love she shows for our animals, in addition to her skill, makes me trust her and puts our furry companions at ease. Oh, and another "little thing"--she tossed in a complimentary nail trim for Micau.

Thursday, I was scheduled for a bone density scan and spinal x-rays. Knowing I'd have to lay flat on my painful back, I was dreading both. Although it hurt to lie absolutely flat with my feet strapped together for the first test, the technician talked with me the whole time, reassuring me that it wouldn't take long and that I was doing great, and asking me questions to help keep my mind off the discomfort. From there I went to x-ray, where the technician not only gave me an extra pillow, but allowed me to bend my knees, relieving the stress on my back. She, too, made sure I was as comfortable as possible and worked quickly. The extra kindness and compassion of those two women made an uncomfortable experience much less so, and the whole process took less than an hour.

Other things that made my life full last week were taking time to watch Micau jump and play with her new little catnip mouse, cuddling with her as she nuzzled my neck or touched her little pink nose to mine; Meisha, our other cat, seeking me out and curling up beside me at night, using my hand for her pillow as she purred us to sleep; Mindy, my service dog, picking up a paper I dropped on the floor without me giving her the command to do so, and coming in to help me in the morning as soon as she heard me stirring; hearing a favorite piece of music on the radio; the beauty of a bouquet of flowers reminding me that spring is not far off; discovering a new artisan bread that is gluten-free and deliciously chewy; finding an exercise DVD that I can do while seated, and being able to actually DO all of the exercises! These things have little, if any, monetary value, but I wouldn't have traded them for the world. They provided the moments of calm in a hectic, painful, stressful week.

Kindness, compassion, caring, affection can't be bought, they can only be given and received. They may not pay the rent or put food on the table, or get blog entries written on time, but life would be unbearably bleak without them.

What are the "little things" that help you get through a stressful day/week/season of life, or that simply put a smile on your face when you need it most? Please share in the comment section.

Smooth Sailing or Stormy Seas? How to Get Back on Course.

2010-01-30T16:30:00.005-05:00

Can you believe we're at the end of January already? For the most part, it has been a busy, productive month for me--how about you? Are you enjoying smooth sailing in accomplishing your goals and maintaining a positive attitude? Are storms battering your boat, making it difficult to make any headway? Is your boat at a standstill, caught in the doldrums, waiting for something to get you moving again? Have you been blown off course by unexpected things popping up and taking up your time? Hopefully, you haven't been shipwrecked altogether!

If you recall, I had broken my goals down into doable steps for each month, week, and day. So, let's see where things stand with only one day left in the month:

begin revisions on my WIP (work in progress) -- began on January 4, but have not made much progress (will talk about this later);
declutter one day a week--started on January 7 and, in spite of some inner resistance one day, have kept at it every Thursday and am making good progress;
join two off-line writers' groups--just sent in my registration for one today online (it's an offline group with an online presence, too); will be mailing a check and membership form to the other on Monday;
mail package off to brother and sister-in-law--working on that this weekend, plan to mail it on Monday.

So, overall, I'm feeling pretty good about how January has gone. If you're making progress, congratulations. Be sure to celebrate your success by doing something special for yourself.

If you're struggling or feel like giving up, step back to take a look at what's going on. What's working? Why is it working? In other words, what are you doing that is keeping you motivated and positive? What's not working? What is keeping you from moving forward and succeeding? What do you need to do in order to get back on course?

As I sat down to evaluate my own progress, I discovered that what's working for me is having my daily tasks assigned to certain days of the week, writing them on a To Do List so that I can check them off at the end of the day, and keeping the list short. Anything that doesn't get done, gets added to the next day's list; but if it doesn't get done that day either, it waits until its scheduled day the following week. It might seem odd to put something off almost a week rather than continuing to carry it over, but there is a good reason for this. If I continue to carry an undone task over, day after day, it will be a constant reminder that I'm not meeting that goal and my To Do List will grow out of control and be overwhelming. I will perceive it as a daily failure, which will breed negative feelings, which will make me resistant to tackling the task as it looms larger and larger in my mind. Instead, if I reschedule it to the following week's assigned day for that task, I can progress through the rest of the week's tasks unencumbered. When it comes up again the following week, I will have had five days of success behind me before tackling this task again, so will be able to approach it in a more positive frame of mind. Then, I can make that my first task for that day to make sure it does, in fact, get done. Each success is positive reinforcement for believing that the next task can also be accomplished.

So, what happened with my book revisions? I started off strong, then hit a snag. Maybe I hadn't let the book simmer on the back burner quite long enough and was still too close to it, or maybe it's because I prefer making corrections with pen and ink instead of on the computer (though I prefer the computer when doing the writing), or maybe it's because I hadn't yet set up a schedule with my writing buddy for mutual encouragement and accountability. Perhaps I was a little overambitious given my health issues, doctor appointments, the change in our family constellation (we adopted a new cat toward the end of the month and are helping her adjust to her new home, humans, and animal "siblings" and find her place), and the day-to-day responsibilities attendant to running a home.

Instead of beating myself up over it, I looked instead at what I'd accomplished. In addition to the things listed specifically in my goals for the month, I'd also taken positive action regarding my health and given an abandoned cat a forever home. So, what about the book revisions? They'll be number one on my goals for February when I sit down tomorrow to see what I want to accomplish during the second month of this year. Another, will be to talk with my writing buddy to set up how we want to hold each other accountable.

What were your successes in January? What caused you problems? What lessons did you learn, and what action are you taking as a result? Share your comments, gratitude list, and questions in the comment section. Let's encourage one another as we head into February.

For help on specific topics, you might like to take a look at change expert Mary Jane Ryan's blog at http://maryjaneryan.wordpress.com/. In addition to current articles, scroll down to the menu on the right with articles archived by topics including weight loss, tips for achieving goals, gratitude, growth, how to create lasting change, and much more.

Are You Too Attached?

2010-01-23T17:25:00.010-05:00

We can struggle for years with a problem--a habit we're trying to break, an addiction, weight loss, a job, a relationship--and then, in a single moment, we have an epiphany, that "ah-ha" moment when the thing we've spent so much time and energy trying to figure out or bring about, suddenly snaps into focus and becomes clear. It's like the moment in every episode of "Murder, She Wrote" (one of my all-time favorite TV series) when someone utters a seemingly innocuous remark and Jessica Fletcher says, "That's it! Of course!" and you know she has just figured out "who done it." This week, I had just such a moment.

For several years I've subscribed to life coach Cheryl Richardson's online newsletter, and always find her articles enlightening and inspiring. A couple of days ago, while perusing her website, I clicked on an application called "A Touch of Grace." The idea is to click on the app, close your eyes and focus on a challenge you're facing, then click one of several twinkling stars to receive a "grace" card.

Before I go any further, I want to make it very clear that I'm not superstitious, nor do I seek spiritual guidance from internet applications. But I do know that there is a power in the universe that is greater than we are, and that this supreme intelligence often uses simple things to confound the wise. So, when I clicked on a particular twinkling star, I wasn't expecting some deep revelation, but neither did I feel it was beyond the realm of possibility for God to use just such a simple thing to get my attention.

At my recent physical, for the first time in my life, some of my bloodwork came back with numbers that exceeded the normal range. Although I try to eat a healthy diet, my weakness is carbs: pizza, pasta, breads. After 61 years, the "free ride" was over, and my love affair with carbs had just smacked me upside the head--that wake-up call I mentioned last week. I immediately went into a 12-hour funk. Then I thought, "Okay, you made the commitment to be more positive this year. Here's the first test...what are you going to do about it?"

As a former teacher, board president, and committee chairman, my philosophy was to never ask a student or colleague to do anything I wasn't willing to do myself. I had shared on this blog that I was going to live in a positive way this year, and had invited others to take up the challenge with me. So, instead of allowing myself to get bogged down asking "Why me? Why now? Why did this happen when I try to be so careful?" I decided to ask myself, "What can you DO to change

this?"

The first thing I did was schedule an appointment with my doctor to discuss the results of the blood work and come up with a treatment plan to get those numbers back into the normal range--a positive action. Then, I reminded myself that my blood pressure, etc., had been fine just six months earlier, before I injured my right hand and ended up in a splint and physical therapy for five months. During that time, I'd let my good habits slip, and I'd had a hard time getting back to them. So, there was every reason to believe this situation could be turned around--positive attitude.

I began doing some simple stretches, began keeping a food journal again, and took stock of what needed to change (get back to eating more fruits and vegetables and fewer processed carbs), and wrote down a list of things to discuss with my doctor. As soon as I'd done those things--no, actually, as soon as I'd made the decision to do those things--my anxiety evaporated and I felt more in control, more at peace. It was at that point that I happened on the Touch of Grace app with the twinkling stars, closed my eyes, and thought about the challenge of losing weight since limited mobility and chronic pain make it extremely difficult for me to exercise. I opened my eyes, clicked on a star, and watched it morph into a "Grace card" that said, "Let go." It went on to say, "When we release our attachment to the outcome, we allow the power of grace to work its magic."

"Ah! Release the outcome!" Stop focusing on losing weight and concentrate on eating a healthy diet and moving enough to maintain as much flexibility and strength as possible. That wasn't really all that much of a revelation, though, because I'd heard that before--many times. But it made me feel more positive, less anxious about those pesky elevated numbers. I'd made a decision to do something about it, and that, in itself, made me feel better.

Then, a couple of days later, I had a really, truly Jessica-Fletcher-I-know-who-did-it bolt-from-the-blue revelation. Release my ATTACHMENT to the outcome. Obviously, my goal was to (a) get healthier, (b) get those numbers back into the normal range, and (c) lose weight. But all of a sudden I realized that as long as I held on tightly to the outcome, as long as the end result was my focus, I would never achieve my goals. Why? Because by stressing out over it, I'm engaging in self-sabotage.

If you're constantly focusing on what you're going to eat, what you ate that you shouldn't have eaten, how many times you've failed in the past, how hard it is to stick to a diet, and all the other defeatist self-talk we engage in, you're never going to lose that weight. Not only that, but it will affect your attitude about other things, too, and you won't be able to enjoy your day-to-day life. You are so attached to trying to make yourself lose weight, the harder you try, the more you fail. But if you focus on eating healthy and living a healthier lifestyle, and focus your attention on other things in life, the weight will come off over time. Eventually, your body will reach its goal and in the meantime, you'll be healthier and happier.

When I really let it sink in that I needed to release my ATTACHMENT to the outcome, I began to relax and enjoy making the changes in my life that I'd set as goals for this year. Instead of worrying about the destination, I started enjoying the journey. Instead of fretting over how much there still is to accomplish in order to reach my goals, I began to take pleasure in, and feel energized by, the daily progress being made. Instead of behaving like a drill sergeant about my goals, I let go of my attachment to them and made room for grace to manifest itself.

Are you too attached to your goals? Are you putting so much pressure on yourself that you want to just give up and stop trying? Maybe it's time to let go of your attachment to the goal and show yourself some grace so you can enjoy the journey. Let me know how you're doing in the comment section.

[If you'd like to check out Cheryl Richardson's website, newsletters, or try the Touch of Grace app, visit her website at http://cherylrichardson.com]

How Can Anyone Stay Positive in the Midst of Tragedy?

2010-01-15T05:00:00.003-05:00

Just two weeks ago we entered 2010 with a sense of optimism and hope for a better year...just as we do every New Year's Day. For many of us, the last strains of "Auld Lang Syne" were still ringing in our ears, and "Happy New Year" was still on our lips, when things seemed to take a nosedive.

Shortly before 2009 ended, my son-in-law's uncle died suddenly, and a week later his fraternal grandmother passed away -- a very rough ending to the old year. Then, less than two weeks into the new year, his maternal grandmother also died. A couple of days later, a 7.0 earthquake leveled much of the island country of Haiti, leaving unimaginable death and destruction in its wake. Local newscasts reported that car and snowmobile accidents had taken the lives of other people's family members, and a talented folk artist took his own life. Both close to home, and on a broader scale, it didn't look like 2010 was off to a very auspicious start after all.

How can anyone stay positive when their world is turned upside down by the loss of a loved one, the devastation of a natural disaster, the loss of a job, the breakup of a marriage, the diagnosis of a chronic or terminal illness, or countless other things that make us ask "Why?" and want to throw up our hands and hide in a dark corner.

If you're looking for an answer, I don't have one...at least, not the one you may be looking for. It's natural to ask "why" or "why me" when bad things happen to us, to those we care about, or even to strangers who live half a world away. And, unfortunately, it's human nature to want to point the finger in blame.

Being positive does NOT mean ignoring the reality of injustice and human suffering. It does NOT mean pasting a phony smile on my face and telling the world I'm "just fine" when I'm not. It does NOT mean living in denial, spouting empty platitudes, or pretending to have all the answers. What it DOES mean is doing my best to respond to negative things, people, comments, situations in a positive way instead of becoming negative myself. I can rail against the injustice of a country being senselessly reduced to rubble, but that won't help alleviate the suffering of its people or rebuild their homes. I can pronounce angry judgment on those who abuse children, commit murder, or torture helpless animals, but that won't help the victims or comfort those they leave behind, nor will it put the criminals behind bars. I can blame my company, my boss, my coworkers, or the President for losing my job or my home, but that won't provide shelter or food for my family, nor will it help me find employment.

When we ask "why," we're often asking the wrong question. Unless we know the answer to "why" and can do something about it, that question only serves to keep us focused on the negative and prevents us from doing anything constructive. "Why" either makes us look outward for someone else to blame, or makes us look inward to blame ourselves, making us feel guilty and depressed. So, if "why" is the wrong question, what are the right ones?

Asking "how" or "what" is much more productive when faced with negatives. For example, with the disaster in Haiti, it helps no one to ask why this happened. But if we ask "how" or "what," those questions can be answered and produce positive action to alleviate suffering. We can pray for the people of Haiti. We can donate money to relief efforts. Some can even volunteer as relief workers and go to Haiti to personally lend their strength, time, and energy to assist those in need.

What about things closer to home? If we lose a job, we can ask what we need to do to find a new one, and take positive action: update a resume, start reading job ads and setting up interviews with prospective employers, see what lessons and skills have been learned at the old job that may help us to be a more desirable employee. We can also ask how we can manage until that happens and take action on that front: register for unemployment, see where we can cut expenses, sell things we don't need, apply to a temp agency while looking for permanent work.

What about other negative news items: a family whose home burned, animal cruelty, child abduction? For some, positive action might mean turning off the TV to avoid depression. For others, it might mean donating new or gently used items to replace what the fire victims lost, volunteering at the local humane society or donating to one of the many animal relief organizations, or signing up for Amber Alerts on their computer.

The next time you find yourself asking "why" or "why me," stop and ask yourself two things: (1) does this question have a cause/effect answer, and, if so (2) will the answer help change the situation or make me feel better? If the answer to these questions is "no," consider asking some "how" or "what" questions that will result in positive action.

Staying positive isn't easy, and we need to be gentle with ourselves, and forgive ourselves when we fail. It takes work, practice, and patience in the daily-ness of life. It is a discipline to cultivate, not a prize to be won. Sometimes, the most positive thing we can do initially is to allow ourselves to feel our emotions, give ourselves time to grieve, reach out for support, and just keep breathing. But eventually, we need to take action, to move forward. And, sometimes, when we reach beyond our own need to help someone else, we'll suddenly realize that we've found the strength to meet our own as well.

How do you deal with negative people/situations? What keeps you going when you feel like giving up? What helps you stay positive when bad things happen? Share your thoughts in the comments section. You can also share your daily gratitude list for the past week.

"What If...?" Challenge: How Was Your First Week?

2010-01-08T20:45:00.002-05:00

We are one full week into Year 2010, so it's time for a progress update on the "What If...?" challenge. As with any new venture, there is a lot of excitement in the beginning, and perhaps that's partly why this has been such a good week. Whatever the reason--adrenaline, commitment, a favorable alignment of the planets, or the grace of God--it has been very encouraging. Often, it's just little things that mean the most. This week I have been thankful for, or glad about, the following:

1/1 -- being able to enjoy on TV the full two-hour broadcast of the Tournament of Roses Parade after missing it the past several years;

1/2 -- that my NaNoWriMo writing buddy wants to continue being writing buddies throughout the year;

1/3 -- that my daughter and son-in-law made it safely home through the storm that dumped over 3 feet of snow on us today;

1/4 -- for our wonderful maintenance crew who worked tirelessly to shovel us out; that my daughter was able to retain a snow removal service for my mom's property--huge relief;

1/5 -- for Eagle Brand replying so quickly to my inquiry asking if None Such Mincemeat was gluten-free: it is! Also, for calls from my son and one of my daughters; that four more people are virtually fostering dogs through Save A Dog on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/SaveADog?v=info) in response to my invitation to join me in sponsoring; and for delicious, frozen gluten-free meals for when I'm just not up to cooking;

1/6 -- that the items I'd ordered for friends came today so I could wrap them (the items, not the friends) and send them on their way;

1/7 -- that I was able to get my hair cut, and that another writer has agreed to do a guest post on my blog when his new book is released in the spring.

As for my goals for this year, I have broken them down into doable steps for each month, week, and day. My major goals for January are to (1) begin revisions on my WIP (work in progress)--started on 1/4, (2) declutter one day a week--started on 1/7, (3) join two off-line writers' groups--not yet, (4) mail package off to brother and sister-in-law--not yet (different from package mentioned above).

So, how was YOUR first week? Did you devise a workable plan to achieve your goals or resolutions? Were you able to find at least one thing each day for which to be grateful? If you struggled with either or both of these, how can we support you in getting back on track? Post your goals, gratitude list, or struggles in the "Comments" section.

For help in setting realistic goals, check out these resources:

http://www.womensconference.org/make-resolutions/ -- Mary Jane Ryan--life coach, change expert, speaker, and author of such books as Adaptability: How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For; This Year I Will; Happiness Makeover; and Attitudes of Gratitude.

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/TristanLoo5.html -- Explains how to use the S.M.A.R.T. acronym to set achievable goals.

http://www.ehow.com/topic_454_tips-keeping-new-year-resolutions.html -- List of articles with tips for keeping New Year resolutions.

Suzanne Beecher: Living in Mayberry

2010-01-07T01:35:00.004-05:00

Since writing my New Year's post and embarking on the "What If...?" challenge--to find at least one thing each day for which to be thankful, and trying to focus on the positive this year--it seems I keep coming across articles, blog posts, and quotes by others who are sharing the same or a similar message. Suzanne Beecher's "Dear Reader" column for January 6, 2010, is just one example and, with her permission, I'm reprinting it below. First, however, I'd like to take a minute to introduce you to Suzanne and the book clubs.

Suzanne has owned a restaurant, founded and published a business magazine, founded a non-profit program to feed the homeless, and home-schooled her youngest son. In addition to writing her daily column at DearReader.com, she designs book clubs for publishers, book sellers, and libraries across the country. Her book Muffins and Mayhem: Recipes for a Happy--if disorderly---Life debuts in June of 2010 (Touchstone).

When you sign up for one of her various genre book clubs, you will receive an e-mail on Monday through Friday with a portion from a book that will take about five minutes to read--just the thing to go with a cup of coffee to start your day, or as a mid-day break. By the end of the week, you'll know whether or not you want to add that book to your "To Read" list. Suzanne also has many contests and give-aways for her readers. Reading her column is like receiving a note from a dear friend, and her sense of humor will have you smiling even if you've been having a bad day. So, I'd like to invite you to sign up and read along with her and 375,000 other people (including me) every day at her online book clubs at www.DearReader.com And now, Suzanne...

Dear Reader,

I do my best writing when I'm living in Mayberry. Yes, I live in Sarasota, Florida, but in my mind I spend a lot of time sitting on the front porch of my house in Mayberry, three streets over from the courthouse where Andy and Barney are keeping the peace. I make different choices since I've taken up residence in Mayberry. Life is more fun in the slow lane and I rarely watch anything violent, which includes the evening news. Murders, children being abducted, cruelty to animals, folks just being downright nasty to each other, I realize these things go on every day; but watching them being replayed hundreds of times on television, or reading about them day after day, wouldn't help the victims or do anything good for my life, either.

The folks in Mayberry have problems, but they try to find gracious ways of solving them and they're polite even when someone deserves less. Not being born and raised in Mayberry, I'm far from being a model citizen. I try my best, but sometimes I still lose my temper and have to chase nasty thoughts out of my mind. But I've discovered that spending time in Mayberry, surrounded by people who try their best to live a good life, it's rubbing off on me and I like how I feel.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher

Suzanne@DearReader.com

My blog: http://dearreader.typepad.com/

Book clubs: www.DearReader.com

"A Friend to Readers and Libraries"

If you'd like to help promote the book clubs, here is a link to flyers Suzanne has put together. If you could print off a few and hand them out, she would appreciate it.

http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/test/mweb/path23-5.html

["Dear Reader" column reprinted by permission.]

What If...?

2009-12-31T17:12:00.003-05:00

Today is the last day of 2009 and, like most years, it has brought its share of good times and bad, births and deaths, victories and challenges. Although the turning of a calendar page doesn't automatically wipe the slate clean, we always think of the "new year" as an opportunity for a fresh start, a new beginning. Yet, many (most) new year's resolutions fail even before the first week of January is over, and we find we've brought last year's baggage along with us into the new one.

BUT... What if we decided that 2010 was going to be the year:

...to be thankful for what we have, instead of bemoaning what we lack?

...to stop saying negative things about others, and instead look for the good in them--even those with whom we disagree?

...to take action to DO good, instead of just talking about it?

...to help others achieve their potential, instead of tearing them down?

...to change ourselves, our attitudes, instead of trying to change others?

...to seek to live in harmony with nature, instead of destroying it out of greed or ignorance?

...to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, to check things out first-hand, instead of believing rumors, whether verbal or written, and passing them on to others?

...to refuse to pass on to others ANYTHING we would not want passed on about ourselves?

We have a choice. We can enter the new year with the same old attitudes, the same prejudices, the same certainty that we are right and everyone else is wrong. Or, we can admit that, just maybe, we, too, are fallible human beings, subject to misunderstanding and being misunderstood, and subject to the same failings and uncertainties as others. We can choose to forgive, and enjoy the subsequent freedom from carrying those hurts around with us all the time. We can choose to learn from the lessons of the past without constantly reliving in the present the events that taught us those lessons. We can choose to let old wounds heal, without repeatedly subjecting ourselves to the same things that wounded us in the first place. We can choose to forgive ourselves when we fail to be the person we wish we were. In short, we can give ourselves and others permission to be human.

What kind of year would that be?

This coming year, I'd like to challenge you to find at least one good thing each day--one thing to be thankful for. And if you can't find anything to be glad about on a given day, you can always be glad that day is over and you can start over the next. Will you join me in this challenge? If so, please post your comments below. Let's see what kind of a year 2010 will be if we choose to look for the good in it and in each other.

Wishing all of my family and friends a happy, healthy, peaceful, safe, and uplifting new year.

Simplify the Holidays -- Part II

2009-12-18T02:30:00.002-05:00

Welcome back! Today I'm continuing with suggestions for ways to simplify the holidays. If you have more ideas, please share them in the comments section.

9. Embrace e-cards. Cut the cost of Christmas cards by sending online greetings to as many people on your list as possible. And if you send regular cards, buy them on sale, make them out, and mail them early. Check out your local dollar store's card section, too--you might be surprised at their nice selection.

10. Write it once. Instead of individual notes, write a Christmas letter. If you're not sure how to do this without coming across as bragging or sounding cheesy, there are templates and sample letters online to help you. Writing all the information once, then photocopying it, saves a great deal of time yet gives others an idea of what's been happening in your life. Keep a copy of these letters in a binder as a keepsake history of your family.

11. Window lights. Instead of outlining the windows with strings of lights, put an electric candle in each window. They look nice and are much quicker and easier to put up and take down. Just make sure cords and outlets can't be accessed by pets and children, and secure the bases so they can't tip over.

12. Opt for artificial. Buy an artificial wreath or swag for the door. As with an artificial tree, these can be stored and reused for many years, saving you time and the effort of shopping for or making a real one.

13. Pick and choose. There are many holiday concerts, plays, and parties this time of year. Don't try to do everything. Choose one or two things that are meaningful for you, and do something different next year. Another entertainment option is to invest in DVDs of favorite holiday films and concerts to enjoy at home. We have been using our collection of Christmas programs as a "countdown to Christmas" this year, and enjoying it immensely.

14. Take time out. When you feel yourself getting stressed out, take a break to recharge your batteries. Fix a cup of tea or hot chocolate, get comfy in a chair, turn on the Christmas lights, and listen to some holiday music. Watch the birds at the feeder, or the children outside building a snowman--or go build a snowman yourself. Take a warm bubble bath, or add relaxing bath salts to the water. Read a book with a holiday theme. Breathe!

15. Focus on people, not projects. Watching holiday programs together is enjoyable, but do other activities together, too. Have a Christmas sing-along. Make Christmas cookies together. Pop some popcorn and make a cranberry-popcorn chain for the tree, then put it out for the birds after the holidays are over. Read Christmas stories out loud as a family. Play games or make a puzzle. Gifts may be forgotten, but memories will last a lifetime.

16. Give to others. There are many charitable organizations that need help this time of year. Donate change you've collected throughout the year to a charity. Donate your time by cooking a hot meal and serving it at a local homeless shelter. Donate non-perishable items to your local food shelf. Have your children take old toys and games that they no longer play with and that are in good condition, and donate them for others to enjoy. If a local bank or other organization has a mitten tree or giving tree, donate to that. And don't forget homeless animals, too. Animal shelters are always in need of food, treats, used blankets, towels, paper products, etc. Charities often put their list of needs online or in the local newspaper, or you can call and ask how to help.

At the end of "A Garfield Christmas," Garfield says, "Christmas...it's not the giving, it's not the getting, it's the loving." Presents are a symbol of the love we have for one another; but it's the giver, not the gift, that is important. As the poem by Christina Rosetti, set to an Irish tune, says, "Love came down at Christmas, Love all lovely, love divine; Love was born at Christmas, Star and angels gave the sign." So, cut back on the commercial aspects of Christmas, slow down the pace, simplify to minimize the stress, but magnify the love.

Simplify the Holidays -- Part I

2009-12-16T18:15:00.002-05:00

Last Saturday, in preparation for our family's early Christmas celebration while our son and daughter-in-law were here from Chicago, my husband and I put up our tree. Sounds simple, right? Take the tree out of the box, assemble the trunk and branches, add lights, garland, and decorations. Voila! Well, not quite. Last Saturday was a really bad pain day for me, so I had to keep sitting down. It took five hours to get the tree up and decorated! Once the tree was done, I was done in, and there was no way I was going to be able to put up the window lights or the garland along the post and railing on our staircase. Amid my lamenting the inability to do things the way I used to, my husband, who is part Santa Claus and part wiseman, said, "Next year, let's get a smaller tree and downsize our decorating." We decided that if that's what it takes to keep our "ho, ho, ho" from turning into "bah, humbug," so be it.

There are many reasons why the holidays can be overwhelming. Perhaps you, too, live with the challenges of chronic pain and illness, or you're getting older and just don't have the energy anymore, or perhaps you're juggling a family and a full-time job, and your hands are too full to take on the added responsibilities and stresses of providing a "fun, old-fashioned family Christmas" like Clark Griswold in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation." We remember how much fun the holidays were when we were kids, but now it just seems like too much work. So, how can we preserve the enjoyment while cutting back on the stress? See if some of these suggestions might help.

1. Bake ahead and freeze. Many cookie, candy, and cake recipes can be made ahead of time, baked, and stored in the freezer. Fruit pies can be put together and frozen, unbaked, then put in the oven when you're ready to use them. For added fun, get a couple of friends together for a group "bake-in," where each of you bakes extra, then divide up the goodies so everyone gets to take home several ready-to-eat-or-reheat items. And if baking is just too much for you, buy special holiday treats from the store or local bakery.

2. Plan ahead. Pick up Christmas gifts throughout the year to take advantage of sales. By buying a little at a time, purchases will have less impact on the checkbook and you'll save yourself the last minute hassle of dealing with crowded stores, long checkout lines, and traffic snarls. And you'll also avoid the post-holiday credit card statement shock.

3. Shop online. Many brick-and-mortar stores have an online presence in addition to those that are strictly virtual stores. Most now have secure websites to protect your personal information so you can feel confident using credit cards online. No need to brave inclement weather, deal with crowds, etc. Just shop, make your choices, and click, and your purchases will be delivered right to your door. You may find that many of your local stores are also online, so you can still "buy local."

4. Divide and conquer. If your adult children or friends are coming to your house for holiday dinner, divide up the menu and ask everyone to bring something to share. Take turns from year-to-year hosting the dinner, and ask family and friends to pitch in with preparation and clean-up chores.

5. Simplify the tree. If decorating a big tree is too much for you, downsize to a tabletop tree. And if the care and mess of a real tree is stressing you out, get an artificial one. Perhaps the fussiest part of tree decorating is getting the lights on it. Why not buy a pre-lighted, artificial tree? You can get them in various sizes, with a choice of white or colored lights, and they look nice once you've added your personal touches. This also avoids the mess of shed needles all over the house when you cart the tree outside after the holidays. And, it can save you money in the long run because artificial trees can be stored and reused for many years to come.

6. Downsize the decorations. If a smaller tree won't hold all your decorations, hang some from garlands or lights strung along staircases, around windows, along the edge of the ceiling, or from cupboard knobs--anywhere you can see and enjoy them. Rotate groups of decorations from year to year, or cut back on by giving some of your treasured keepsake ornaments to your adult children for their trees.

7. Draw names. As families grow, it gets more expensive and harder to know what to get for people. Instead of buying for everyone, draw names. There will still be packages under the tree, but there won't be the guilt of having overspent, or the risk of getting people something they neither want nor need. Or, if you prefer to give to everyone, agree to limit the dollar amount of the gifts or give homemade ones.

8. Think outside the box. Make a donation in someone's name to their favorite charity, and place an announcement of your gift under the tree. Give gift coupons for services you are willing to perform: cleaning their attic, basement, or garage; painting a room; helping to clear out clutter; catering one or more meals; babysitting; etc. "Adopt" an animal in their name to support wildlife, such as the program run by Defenders of Wildlife, or make a donation in their name to the local Humane Society.

Watch for more ideas Friday.

Can't Wait 'til Christmas, or Can't Wait 'til It's Over?

2009-12-12T14:30:00.002-05:00

A few nights ago we watched the movie "Christmas Every Day" in which a little girl makes a wish that every day would be Christmas, much to the chagrin of her big brother, Billy. But if Billy thought he had it rough reliving Christmas day after day, what about parents?

As a child, the words I associated with the holidays were "festive," "bright," "joyful," "merry," "gay" (meaning joyful, glad, cheerful), "fun" and other positive words. Today, more often than not, Christmas is described with less positive adjectives: "hectic," "harrowing" (especially if your're in heavy traffic on snowy roads or in a crowd all trying to grab the last of this year's hot ticket item), "exhausting," "chaotic," and "over-commercialized." We've gone from "Can't wait 'til Christmas" to "Can't wait 'til it's over." And I began thinking about how Christmas is different for children than it is for adults, and why we look back with fond memories while dreading the present holiday season. Even those of us who love Christmas wouldn't want it every day of the year.

As children, we reap all the benefits without having to do any of the work. We build snowmen, go sledding and ice skating, build snow forts and have snowball fights, write letters to Santa, and sit on Santa's knee at the store telling him all the wonderful things we want him to bring us. We color holiday pictures, sing carols, and watch Christmas programs on TV. In short, we get to do the fun stuff. Meanwhile, what are our parents doing?

While we're out playing, our mothers slave over a hot stove baking special holiday goodies, buy and wrap gifts, disrupt an otherwise orderly household to make room for holiday decorations, address/lick/stamp countless cards, then cart those cards and packages for out of town friends and relatives to the post office where they wait in long, slow lines, often with cranky, tired children in tow. Then they must take those same cranky, tired children to see Santa, read them holiday stories, help them make or address their own Christmas cards, put up countless holiday pictures brought home from school, buy gifts for teachers, bake cookies for school parties, make costumes and coach lines for plays and pageants, then attend those plays, pageants, and concerts, too.

Mothers and fathers wrestle Christmas trees into stands, untangle and string lights only to discover--after the tree is all decorated--that some have burned out and need replacing, guide young hands in helping to decorate the tree, pretending not to care when old, treasured ornaments are dropped and broken, and turn a blind eye when the tree looks more messy than festive. Then, on Christmas Eve, they struggle to get excited children to sleep who are determined to stay awake to spy on Santa. By the time they have cleaned the house, finished the baking, wrapped the gifts and put them under the tree, stuffed the stockings, and climbed into bed long after midnight, parents are exhausted.

Then, often before the sun is up, the children are screaming, "He came! Santa came!" and heavy eyelids are pried open, smiles and bathrobes are put on, and parents try to oversee the opening of gifts, making sure one doesn't open another's toy, and refereeing when there are disputes over ownership or someone doesn't want to share. While children set off to play and fathers retreat to read the paper, mothers clean up the discarded wrapping paper and ribbons, put the room back in some semblance of order, then report to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Depending on the ages of the children, they help kids get dressed for the day, then back to the kitchen to prepare dinner and ready the house for guests. Setting the table, serving the meal, clearing the table, doing the dishes, and, if there are no visitors, perhaps finally getting a chance to sit down and relax for a minute. If there are guests, however, relaxation yields to conversation and seeing that visitors are entertained. Then the dinner process is repeated at supper time, the house has to be straightened up before bed, and by the time the children are settled for the night and company has gone home, mothers finally fall into bed, the day a total blur, thinking about the thank you notes they will have to write not only for themselves, but for each of their children--or at least oversee the writing of the children's thank you notes. That means more writing/sealing/stamping, and another trip to the post office. And then there are the trips to various stores to exchange things that are the wrong size, wrong style, or just plain wrong.

In some homes, the tree comes down Christmas Day, in some it stays up until New Year's Day, and in others until Twelfth Night (Epiphany). But at some point, the tree has to come down, and it is usually the mothers who have to remove and pack away the ornaments and lights, and help the father wrestle the tree out of the stand and out of the house for pickup by the sanitation department. Is it any wonder that parents are glad Christmas comes only once a year? And why do they go through all of this? So they can make wonderful memories for their own children to remember and cherish when they are grown.

Now that I'm getting older, I understand why my mother down-sized Christmas in later years. I, too, find the refrain "simplify, simplify" playing in my mind. Sometimes we have to minimize the work of Christmas in order to preserve the wonder of Christmas. After all, it's not the presents we need every day, but the presence--the spirit of Christmas that reaches out to others in selfless giving, stands up for those who are oppressed, and recognizes our common bond with our fellow man. If you have to cut back a bit in order to enjoy the season, isn't it better to downsize some of the trappings so you can perhaps rekindle some of that excitement and joy you had as a child?

Next time: Suggestions for Simplifying the Holidays

Happy Birthday, Miss Emily!

2009-12-10T15:45:00.000-05:00

Unlike many modern-day celebrities, Emily Dickinson fervently avoided the spotlight. Born in Amherst, Ma, in 1830, she lived a reclusive life, rarely seeing anyone face-to-face once she had left school and returned home to care for her mother, who suffered from chronic illness.

Her shyness extended to the point that she would listen, out of sight, after inviting a friend over to play music for her. Although she appears to have fallen in love several times during her life, she never married. Her eccentricities included dressing all in white, using unconventional punctuation and phrasing in her poems and letters, and writing letters even to those who lived nearby, such as her sister-in-law who lived just next door, rather than engaging in conversation in person.

During her lifetime, less than a dozen of her poems were pubished. Fortunately, her sister Lavinia and a couple of friends edited the rest of her poems and published them posthumously.

To read more about her life and how her work was preserved, go to http://womenshistory.about.com/od/dickinsonemily/a/emily_dickinson.htm.

In honor of Emily Dickinson's birthday today, I thought I'd share with you one of my favorite poems by this American poet and fellow New Englander.

I'm nobody! Who are you?

Are you nobody, too?

Then there's a pair of us -- don't tell!

They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody,

How public, like a frog

To tell your name the livelong day

To an admiring bog!

--Emily Dickinson

Some other writers and poets born in December:

Joyce Kilmer - poet Dec. 6, 1886

James Thurber - humorist - Dec. 8, 1894

John Milton - poet - Dec. 9, 1608

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn - novelist - Dec. 11, 1918

Harriet Monroe - poet - Dec. 23, 1860

Robert Bly - author - Dec. 23, 1926

Mary Higgins Clark - author - Dec. 24, 1931

Rudyard Kipling - writer - Dec. 30, 1865

If you have a favorite Dickinson poem, please share it in the comments section.

Lessons for the Living, Gifts for the Dying

2009-12-08T00:45:00.001-05:00

Advent is a time when we think of birth and beginnings, stars and shepherds, decorations and Christmas carols, trees and gifts. But, sometimes, illness and death are a part of the holidays, as well. Just before Thanksgiving my son-in-law's family experienced the loss of two family members within a week of each other: one, the sudden, unexpected death of a beloved uncle; the other, the natural culmination of the long life of a grandmother. They are fortunate in that they have a large, close-knit family who know how to come together in difficult times for mutual comfort and support.

Others are not so lucky. In our culture we try to distance ourselves from death. We closet it away in hospitals and nursing homes, couch it in euphemisms, and sanitize it so we can put thoughts of our own mortality out of our minds instead of recognizing it as a normal, sometimes even welcome, part of life. So, as we think about giving, what can we give to the dying, and what can we learn from them?

Today, I would like to introduce you to someone who transformed his own personal experience of a cancer diagnosis, and the attendant fear and grieving, into a means of helping others, and, in the process, learned some valuable lessons which he is now sharing through his new book and a series of videos. I met Stan recently through Facebook, and now, I'd like you to meet him, too.

Stan Goldberg is a Professor Emeritus of Communicative Disorders at San Francisco State University. He has published six books and numerous articles dealing with loss and end of life issues. His latest book is Lessons for the Living: Stories of Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Courage at the End of Life. The MyShelf book reviewer says "it is a book to change the way you'll live the rest of your life."

Stan is also a regular columnist on opentohope.com, examiner.com, and the Hospice Volunteer Association's quarterly magazine. Other articles also appear on his website: http://stangoldbergwriter.com. He consults on issues of change and leads workshops for adults whose lives were suddenly and dramatically changed. He has been a bedside hospice volunteer for seven years and currently serves with Pathways Home Health Care and Hospice. He is the 2009 Hospice Volunteer Association's Volunteer of the Year.

When Stan was diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer, instead of giving up or giving in to self-pity, he decided to learn about dying from those who were experiencing it by facing his fear and becoming a hospice volunteer. Being with, caring for, and listening to those at the end of life taught him much more than how to die--it changed how he viewed not only death, but life. In Lessons for the Living he shares some of those stories and lessons with the rest of us and, in so doing, reminds us that death is as natural as birth, and by understanding it and allowing it to be our teacher, our remaining time on earth can be transformed into a more joyful, meaningful experience.

In addition to his book, Stan has just added a series of twelve videos called "Helping Loved Ones Die," which you can access through his website or by going directly to YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SXtTTeHvGU&feature=related. In this series, Stan offers specific ways to make a loved one's last days and moments more comfortable and more meaningful so they can have closure and be at peace. I can think of no better gift to give them than that.

For more information about Stan, his books and articles, and to read an excerpt from the book, go to his website: http://stangoldbergwriter.com. His book is also available on Amazon and other outlets.

A Holiday Lesson from Benedict Slade and Ebenezer Scrooge

2009-12-04T16:08:00.009-05:00

Last night we watched "An American Christmas Carol" starring Henry Winkler. This Jerome Coopersmith adaptation of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol is set in 1933 in Concord, New Hampshire, during the Great Depression. On the day before Christmas, Benedict Slade (the more modern day Scrooge) sets out with his employee Thatcher (the Cratchit character), to repossess the items townspeople bought with money borrowed from Slade. There is a nice twist with the three spirits who visit him, all of whom bear a striking resemblance to people he visited earlier in the day; and, in the end, Ben learns his lesson and sets out to change his life by changing the lives of those around him for the better. The movie is a vivid reminder that Christmas is more than a one-day-a-year holiday...or at least, it should be.

No matter what holidays you celebrate this time of the year, it is a joyous season for most people. Shoppers are busy buying decorations, special foods for their celebrations, and gifts for family and friends. Lighted Hanukkah menorahs and Christmas lights appear in windows, and Christmas carols play in stores, on radios, and on TV, both in programs themselves and in commercials. In addition to white and colored lights, stores and houses are dressed in holiday finery and boast special displays, there are special programs on TV, people make travel plans to visit loved ones who live at a distance, and diets are thrown out the window until after the first of the year. It's a special season of giving, of sharing, of love and laughter and hope...but not for everyone.

There are many people who will spend the holiday season in homeless shelters, or worse...trying to survive the elements outdoors. Others will spend the holidays alone--some in their own homes, some in nursing homes, hospitals, or other institutions. Service organizations such as the United Way and Salvation Army, and local churches, strive to reach out to bring some joy and comfort to them; but many will fall through the cracks. For them, the holidays are a bleak reminder of what they lack--family, friends, companionship, physical necessities and comforts, and the inability to provide these things for themselves. And it's not just the human population that is in need. Many homeless animals will spend their holidays not curled up on the rug with a loving human to care for them, but in a cage in a shelter.

There are numerous opportunities to give to others this time of year, and many people do. But the needs continue year-round. When you reach out to help in December, why not make a commitment, like Benedict Slade and Ebenezer Scrooge, to continue your giving throughout the coming year? Even small monthly donations can go a long way if those donations are pooled together. If you're looking for a way to help others this season, here are a few suggestions.

Donations can be made to the following. For national organizations, you can usually find a local chapter on their websites:

http://www.unitedway.org/worldwide/

http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn_2.nsf

http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=1174

local food banks and soup kitchens

local homeless shelters

local battered women's shelters

local crisis pregnancy centers

And for animals in need:

http://www.aspca.org/

http://www.humanesociety.org/ or your local humane society

http://www.pawswithacause.org/ - trains hearing and service dogs for people with disabilities

http://www.nsalamerica.org/ - North Shore Animal League, the world's largest no-kill shelter

These are just a few ways you can reach out and enrich the lives of others. And in doing so, you will find that your own holiday celebration, indeed your life, will be enriched as well. As Scrooge said, "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." What a difference it would make in our world if we all did the same.

Withdrawal Symptoms and Returning to "Normal"

2009-12-02T18:24:00.006-05:00

After blogging every day for a month, it felt strange NOT to blog yesterday, and today I'm experiencing what can only be called withdrawal symptoms. I even reread the first three chapters of my NaNo novel last night, correcting a typo here, doing a bit of rephrasing there, before reminding myself that I'm taking the month of December off to concentrate on the holidays.

Returning to "normal" is a process. It began yesterday with getting caught up on some much-needed sleep, reading some more of Death at Epsom Downs by Robin Paige (pseudonym for Bill and Susan Wittig Albert), and watching "The Bishop's Wife" on DVD--the original version with David Niven, Loretta Young, and Cary Grant. I also talked with my son and daughter-in-law, wishing them a happy anniversary--their second. Today, I had my last physical therapy appointment. It will seem strange not seeing my physical therapist, Jenn, after working with her for five months to get my hand back in shape. She's expecting her second child, another boy, in April, and I'll miss talking with her. We also called my father-in-law in South Carolina today to wish him a happy 80th birthday.

"Normal" also included our monthly trip to our local health food store to stock up on my gluten-free supplies and check out the new items they've added to their stock. I remember how truly awful gf foods were twenty years ago when I was first diagnosed with the condition. Really, the boxes tasted better than the contents! But now, there are so many delicious items to choose from, it's hard to decide what to have. Tonight it's lasagna, a salad, and gf cheesy garlic bread.

My husband and I are doing a "Countdown to Christmas" by watching a Christmas movie on TV, DVD, or VHS every night ending with "A Child's Christmas in Wales" on Christmas Eve--an annual tradition begun when my first child was a little girl. And tomorrow, I plan to start making room in the living room for the tree and start getting the decorations up in preparation for my son and daughter-in-law's visit from Chicago a week from tomorrow.

It feels good to know I accomplished what I set out to do in November. But it also feels good to return to my "normal" life, broaden my focus again, and fully embrace the Christmas season. What holidays do you celebrate in your family this season--Hanukkah? Christmas? Kwanzaa? Something else? How do you get ready for the holidays? What puts you in the holiday mood? Are you one of Santa's elves, or is the Grinch more your style? Please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Day Thirty: Where Do We Go From Here?

2009-11-30T13:58:00.010-05:00

This is it. At midnight tonight, NaNoWriMo 2009 will be history. Those who have reached the finish line will be celebrating their victories. Those who did not, will celebrate their attempt and redouble their efforts to cross the finish line next year. All will heave a sigh of relief and anticipate the return to a more normal life.

What lies ahead? For some, December is NaNo novel editing month, but others, like myself, plan to put that off until after the holidays when there will be fewer (we hope) distractions. Again this year, CreateSpace is offering to print a free proof copy of each NaNo novel that was completed. This offer is good for six months and coupons will be available December 2.

In April, there is another writing challenge: Script Frenzy. The goal is to write a 100-page original script during the month. According to the Script Frenzy website http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/), this may be in the form of a screen play, stage play, TV show, short film, or graphic novel. To help you prepare for April, the website offers a series of "How To" guidelines for each category as well as advice from experts. As with NaNoWriMo, Script Frenzy also has a Young Writers Program.

In addition to the challenge of writing a novel during November, I challenged myself to blog every day. While it was a lot of fun, it was also a lot of work to come up with new and, hopefully, interesting material on a daily basis. Beginning with December, I plan to blog once a week and see how that goes. I would like to invite you, my readers, to submit questions and topic ideas that pertain to writing, animals, chronic illness, or life in general, and I will endeavor to include those in my blog posts. I hope we can have some interesting discussions, and perhaps there will be a contest or two or some other enjoyable activities in the year ahead. So, if you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments section or drop me an e-mail. And thank you for joining me in my NaNoWriMo journey this year.

Day Twenty-Nine: Across the Finish Line!

2009-11-29T23:41:00.001-05:00

Early this afternoon, I crossed the finish line a day and a half ahead of the deadline. After combining my individually saved chapters into a unified document, it was uploaded to the NaNoWriMo website for word count verification. To be considered a "Winner," the completed manuscript must be at least 50,000 words long. Mine came in at over 60,000, giving me a generous buffer to allow for any differences between the word counter on the website and the one in my word processor. Verification completed, the bar on my NaNo homepage turned purple with the word "WINNER" emblazoned on it, and I was informed of the rewards for having completed NaNoWriMo 2009, one of which is the little badge you will see if you scroll down on the right side of the page.

What are the feelings that are experienced upon completion of this challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in thirty days? Elation! Joy! A sense of accomplishment! The wonder of "I DID it! And, relief! Across the land and around the world, TGIO (Thank God It's Over) parties are being planned, not so much to celebrate a win as to celebrate the fact that we survived!

From a personal standpoint, I am also grateful for the support of my husband, who encouraged me throughout the month to stick with it, gave me the time and space the daily writing required, brought up infusions of coffee and sustenance when needed, and was there to celebrate when I reached "THE END." My children, too, were a source of encouragement and inspiration, as they have always been. They know just how many years I've held the dream of being a writer, and have supported my efforts by giving constructive criticism and, in the case of my son, motivating me to join Facebook and form relationships with others in the writing community.

I appreciate my friends, too, who were graciously understanding of my rare and brief communications throughout the month. And I am grateful to those in the writing community who encouraged me, shared bits of writing wisdom, and inspired me by their example. Their congratulatory comments are much appreciated, and an inspiration to continue to pursue my writing goals.

Finally, I am grateful to Chris Baty, who founded National Novel Writing Month a decade ago, and who labors each year to make it an incredible experience for all who participate in it; to his staff, who tirelessly work to keep the website up and running, and who are there to help when there are problems, or to answer our questions. And then there are the volunteer Municipal Leaders, who send out encouragement on a regular basis to NaNo participants in their regions, schedule meet-ups and write-ins, host forums, and give so much of their time and energy while trying to complete the writing challenge themselves.

Tomorrow at midnight, NaNoWriMo 2009 officially draws to a close. But for many of the participants, it will also be the beginning of a new phase of their NaNo experience--rewriting, revising, and polishing their novel, and, perhaps, eventually seeing it in print as a published novel.

Day Twenty-eight: Glimpses of Normalcy

2009-11-28T23:38:00.001-05:00

NaNoWriMo is like taking part in a total immersion language program. For those who may not know what that is, instead of taking a foreign language in college for two or three one-hour sessions a week, you live in a dorm with other students of that particular language, French for example, and that is all you speak. By only being allowed to communicate in the language you are learning, you learn it much faster. The theory behind it is based on how children learn their native languages, which is primarily from hearing their parents and older siblings speak it.

NaNo is something like that. You may be physically present in a non-NaNo world, but much of your waking time is spent either working on your novel, corresponding with your writing buddies about your novels, or talking in the forums seeking support or discussing problems with your novels. Even when you're not actively engaged in writing or discussing, your brain is trying to work out plot snags or details of the next scene. You speak a whole new vocabulary, one steeped in writing terms and NaNoJargon.

It takes some adjustment when you finish your book and suddenly remember that you have a life that exists the other eleven months of the year. Somehow, during November, that seems to slip your mind. But I've begun to catch glimpses of normalcy. For instance, when I'm writing, I like to listen to the classical music station on the radio ("ALL Classical, ALL the time," is their motto). But a couple of days ago, I suddenly realized there was a smattering of Christmas music sprinkled in amongst the works of Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, and Grieg. Then, while watching television in the evening, it was impossible to miss the holiday commercials; and even two of our favorite programs had Thanksgiving themes, and one was a Christmas episode!

There have been more mundane reminders of that "other" life, too. Bills still have to be paid: creditors don't consider NaNoWriMo a valid excuse for late payments. And my husband informed me that there is something amiss with our refrigerator--how can it be freezing and thawing at the same time? So, it looks like a call to the repairman is in order.

And then there's the mud! Not only have we had one of the wettest springs and summers on record, but fall has not been much better. Our back yard is so saturated, I'm thinking of investing in "Wellies" for Mindy, my dog, so she won't track in so much mud from outside. If it were just a bit warmer, we could grow rice or perhaps have a cranberry bog of our very own. The bottom line is that the floor by the kitchen door needs to be mopped almost daily to keep the muck from spreading into the the main house.

It was also nice to take a day off from writing to enjoy Thanksgiving with family, to talk with real people instead of just the characters in my book, and to listen to conversation that I didn't write. Soon, meals will return to being more balanced, and more regular, as will bedtime. Once again laundry will be folded upon its return from the laundromat, and clothes will be available in drawers and closets instead of having to be fished out of the accumulated bags of clean laundry piled by the linen closet. Furniture will be dusted, floors will be vacuumed and mopped, beds will be made. In short, the normal rhythms and responsibilities of life will return--at least until next November.

Day Twenty-Seven: Oops!

2009-11-27T23:31:00.005-05:00

Three days to go before NaNoWriMo 2009 goes down in the history books. This week, with preparations for the Thanksgiving holiday, and cumulative exhaustion kicking in, for the first time I got a bit behind in my word count. So, today, I wrote. And then I wrote some more. And then I did some fascinating research about engagement rings in the early to mid-1800s, before writing even more.

Did you know that most of the rings were yellow gold and had carved bands? Some had single stones, and not always a diamond since diamonds were so expensive. Other bands used gemstones to spell out the word "dearest" using a diamond, emerald, amethyst, ruby, another emerald, sapphire, and tourmaline. Still others used a diamond as the center stone, then had one or two stones on either side. And not all bands were a regular circle. One such band, called a "bypass" ring, caught my eye because where the stones were set, one end of the ring bypassed the other, with one gemstone set on each end so the two stones "hugged" each other. I thought, what a perfect ring for my protagonist to give his intended! So, I busily wrote the scene in which he selects the ring, choosing a diamond (his intended's birthstone), and a sapphire (his birthstone). I had nearly finished the scene when I realized there was a problem: my main character has amnesia. He doesn't know who he is, where he's from, or anything about himself, so how would he know when his birthday was? Oops!

What do you do when you still have approximately 12,000 words left to write before you can upload your story, and you run into a problem? At this stage of the game, I had three choices. Delete the past hour's work and start over, have him suddenly recover a convenient portion of his memory, or keep writing and "fix" the problem during revisions after NaNo is over. Since one of the "rules" of NaNo is "NO EDITING," I decided to keep going and solve the problem when I do the revisions in January.

Even with the little "glitch" this afternoon, it was still a very productive day. I managed to add another 4000+ words to my total, with another 7,384 to go. So, my goal is to write another 4,000 Saturday, finish on Sunday, and upload the novel for word count verification on Monday before midnight. In the meantime, my story is building to its climax, and I can't wait to see what's going to happen.

Have you run into similar problems while writing your stories? Have you discovered inconsistencies in your plot, found that something you included in your story didn't exist until a later time period, or suddenly realized you'd changed the name of one of your characters without realizing it? Such things happen to us all, and that's where a good editor comes in; but that will be another topic for another day.

If you're participating in NaNoWriMo, writing furiously to finish your story before the end of the day on November 30, don't panic. Take a deep breath, keep writing, and remember that this is a first draft, and all its imperfections and inconsistencies can be worked out during the revision process. For now, just keep writing and keep the finish line in view.

Day Twenty-Six: Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T04:40:00.000-05:00

In honor of the day, I thought I'd share the one-paragraph Thanksgiving story I recently submitted to a contest. It didn't win, but it did get read and tied for fourth place.

Tom shivered in the chilly November wind, a worried look etched on his face as he realized his friends were disappearing, one by one. He'd heard rumors all his life about Big Jack and what he did to you when you reached a certain age--the atrocities he allegedly committed; but didn't Big Jack take care of them? And wasn't it he who provided their sustenance, who tended to them when they were sick, who gave them shelter? No one knew for sure what really happened when Big Jack singled you out because no one had ever come back; but what he'd overheard Little Jack tell Annie yesterday had made his blood run cold. Kind of hard to believe someone who seemed so caring could also be such a heartless monster. Still, as the day wore on, and more and more of his friends took that one-way trip wrapped in Big Jack's arms, Tom's fears grew. "Gotta keep my head," he thought, "--try to think of a way to survive. " It was almost supper time now, and he saw Big Jack walking in his direction. Very nonchalantly, Tom began to ease to the rear of the nervous, dwindling group gathered in the yard. "If he doesn't see me, if I can just make it through the day, I'll be okay," he thought as he suddenly found himself pressed up against the rough siding of the building. No time left to run, no place to hide, his heart sank as he resigned himself to his fate. Gathering his courage, he vowed not to cry out as Big Jack scooped him up in his arms, held him close, and said, "Yes, Tom, you'll make a fine Thanksgiving dinner."

[Can you find the secret word hidden in this story? If you think you know what it is, post your answer in the comments. And have a wonderful Thanksgiving--but keep your head.]

Day Twenty-Five: Traditions in Transition, and a Recipe for You

2009-11-25T23:45:00.000-05:00

Today, I wanted to take time out from talking about NaNoWriMo and writing, to share something on a more personal level. I've been thinking a lot about family traditions lately--maybe because some of ours are changing. As children grow up, move away from home, get married, parents grow older or pass away, the family constellation changes and so do some of our traditions. Some of the old ones no longer seem to "fit," or are impossible to continue, and new ones take their place. Yet there is always something that we cherish and pass on to the next generation.

On a trip to Virginia, when our children were little, we stayed with friends and experienced grits, red eye gravy, and monkey bread--all for the first time. The first two were not met with much enthusiasm by our children, but the monkey bread was an unequivocal hit with everyone and became our traditional Thanksgiving breakfast. Why it's called "Monkey Bread," our hosts couldn't tell us. I'll include the recipe at the end of this post so you can try it and perhaps it will become one of your traditions, too.

As for dinner, of course, the center of attraction is the turkey. In my family, we always made a bread stuffing; but when I met my husband, his family made a meat-based dressing. When I became gluten-intolerant several years ago and could no longer have bread stuffing (I tried it with gluten-free bread, and it just wasn't the same), I was very grateful we had added this tradition from my in-laws. Of course our kids all wanted Stove Top, so that, too, became a staple at our holiday dinners.

When my daughter Jen was in nursery school, she learned how to make homemade butter. This has been present on our Thanksgiving table for more than three decades, though it may be missing tomorrow since Jen will be with her husband's family for the holiday this year and I may not have the time or energy to make it. The butter was for pumpkin bread, which my mother used to make. Now, my son-in-law Louie has taken over this part of the meal, and does an excellent job of it, too.

We've even made a change in the squash, buying some that has already been peeled and cut into chunks (when we can find it). Davy and Sarah used to cut this up for me after I began having some problems with my hands; but when they're not here, we appreciate the convenience of buying it ready to just toss in the kettle, and are thankful for those who prepared it. I still make the boiled onions from scratch, though, because I don't like the flavor of the canned ones.

Several years ago, as our family grew through marriage, everyone decided to contribute to the meal so I wouldn't have to do all the work of getting a huge dinner by myself. Jen had tried a new potato recipe, "Cheesy Potatoes," and brought that as part of her contribution. They were a huge success, and were immediately voted in as a new "tradition." She has brought them many times since, and the dish has always been emptied by the end of dinner with one exception. Last year, the potatoes exploded! The glass casserole dish had been set on the glass-top stove, and no one noticed that one of the burners was on. Thankfully, it happened while we were at the other end of the room, and no one was injured, though it did take out two nearby pies. She made the potatoes again for Christmas dinner (by popular demand), and this time there were no unwanted surprises.

My daughter Sarah began a new tradition for us when she was in Girl Scouts and learned to make homemade cranberry sauce--super simple, super delicious! We also include the canned jellied cranberry sauce on the table because...well...it's tradition! (I can hear Tevye breaking into song right about now. Tevye is the patriarch of the family in "Fiddler on the Roof.")

I always made at least three pies: an apple, a pumpkin, and sometimes a banana cream. Now, I make pumpkin custard (pie minus the crust), and Sarah (or my daughter-in-law Tracy, before she and Davy moved to Chicago) makes the apple pie. My mother always made a big fruit salad with both fresh and canned fruit, and fresh whipped cream and cherries on top. Now, that has fallen to me, only this year we're having it at Christmas instead.

And what would Thanksgiving Day be without the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? We always used to get up and watch the pre-parade show at 9 a.m., then the parade itself from 10-noon. In recent years, I haven't always been able to watch all of it, but try to at least catch the last hour. Another relatively new tradition we added was watching the National Dog Show, sponsored by Purina, right after the parade. We're able to do this because, for several years, we have shifted our Thanksgiving dinner from noon to 4 or 5 p.m.

About five years ago, we had a very different Thanksgiving--one I'm glad did NOT become a tradition. I ended up in the hospital over the holiday! The doctors and nurses were very nice, and after a couple of false starts the kitchen finally sent up a turkey dinner that was gluten-free, but I much prefer being home. It was definitely our quietest celebration, and the only year I didn't do any of the cooking.

This year, Sarah and Louie will be with us, Jen and Kreig will be with his family but will call us, and Davy and Tracy will be home in Chicago having dinner with friends, and will talk with us on ooVoo later in the day. We may not all be able to be physically present with each other, but we will be in touch with each other and share at least part of our day via phone or computer.

In reading this over, I realize just how many of our traditions have changed over the years; yet the important things remain: keeping in touch with family and friends, taking time to give thanks for our blessings, and remembering to keep glass casserole dishes off hot stove burners.

What is your favorite Thanksgiving tradition? Have some of your traditions changed? Have you added new ones? Please share in the comments section. And have a very happy Thanksgiving!

Here's that Monkey Bread recipe I promised:

1 1/2 sticks of butter or margarine

1 1/2 cups of brown sugar

1 Tablespoon of cinnamon

4 cans of refrigerated biscuits

1/2 cup of chopped nuts (optional)

Cut biscuits into quarters.

Melt butter or margarine in a saucepan, add brown sugar and cinnamon. Heat until sugar is dissolved.

Place cut biscuits into a greased 4-inch tube pan, deep casserole dish, or oblong pan.

Pour the brown sugar mixture over biscuits and toss to coat biscuit pieces. Sprinkle nuts on top (if using).

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

[Note: This recipe is NOT gluten-free. To convert it, make biscuits from scratch using gluten-free flour, and use gluten-free brown sugar.]

Day Twenty-four: Heading Into the Homestretch

2009-11-24T10:24:00.002-05:00

Today is the first day of the final week of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). We have struggled through figuring out what to write about, coming up with a title, creating an effective "hook" (hopefully) so that readers will want to read our work, constructing a plot, and have been fleshing out the story with interesting descriptions, compelling dialog and action, and multi-dimensional characters. We have watched our protagonists start out with a problem to overcome, or go on a quest or voyage, face a monster (whether literal or figurative), or some other challenge. We have watched as they struggle through these challenges, sometimes failing, sometimes victorious, while experiencing personal growth. We have met their families, their friends, their enemies; we know their strengths and weaknesses, their flaws and foibles. Sometimes, they have taken us in unexpected directions, or stumbled upon an additional problem we hadn't foreseen. Now, we are reaching the climax of the story, and soon our characters will have their happy ending -- or not.

Some openly admit to hating their stories, but keep writing because they just don't want to give up. Some love their stories, and could write (or have written) more than the required 50,000 words. Some intend to never look at their stories again, while others will pursue the dream of getting theirs published, eventually.

As with some of our characters, not all participants will make it to the end. Indeed, some have already fallen by the wayside for various reasons: the intrusion of life's responsibilities--expected or unexpected, sickness--our own or that of a loved one, writer's block, plot knots that refused to be untangled, or computer problems that left us so far behind we felt it impossible to catch up. Some have finished early, having logged their 50,000 words several days or even a week ago, and can now bask in their assured victory. And then there are the rest of us, doggedly racing on, whether trying to catch up or right on target, determined to reach that finish line, to see our word count bars turn green, and receive the "WINNER" designation and all its attendant glory.

Wherever you are in the process, whatever the outcome, I hope you will have learned something along the way that will help you in your future efforts as a writer. Or, you may have discovered that writing is just not your thing, and that's fine, too, as one of my fellow NaNoer's said when I interviewed her. I'd like to share with you a few things that I have learned through the experience this year.

For one thing, I've learned that I need a schedule. NaNoWriMo has given me the structure of having to get a set number of words written each day. I seriously doubt I'll continue to write nearly 1700 words a day after NaNo is over; but I will contract with myself to either write a set number of words or write for a specified period of time on specific days, if not every day.

Another thing I've discovered is that I need a writing buddy and contact with other writers. I already belong to several writing groups online, plan to join a couple of "real time" groups, and have arranged with one of my NaNo buddies to continue our mutual support beyond November. It's important to have some kind of support system in place, at least for me, it is. I need someone to talk to about the struggles and joys of writing, to share ideas with, to discover new techniques, and to help each other grow and learn and develop our craft. I also need the wisdom of experienced writers who have traveled the path before me, who can share their wisdom, set a standard to strive for, and help me avoid some of the pitfalls.

I also realized I need to strive for balance. During NaNoWriMo, writing takes over pretty much everything. But to maintain a healthy mental and physical life, there must be time for other people and other things. I plan to enjoy the holidays with my family, and to have regular get-togethers with my children and their spouses throughout the year. I need to spend time with my husband, and support him in his artistic goals as he supports me in mine. I need to spend time with my animals, giving them the attention they so richly deserve for all the joy and love and humor they bring into my life on a daily basis. I need to keep in touch with friends, both inside and outside of the writing community. I need to properly nourish my physical body as well as my spiritual body, and I need to exercise both so they can be as strong and healthy as possible. And I need to connect with the natural world, the plants and animals that share this planet with me, and to enjoy the beauty of its physical features -- its lakes, rivers, mountains.

In closing, I just want to encourage all those who are still pressing on toward the goal to keep on, don't give up, hang in there. We're in the homestretch, and the finish line isn't far ahead. Let's cross it together.

Day Twenty-three: When Writing is a Pain

2009-11-23T23:30:00.001-05:00

The writing process can sometimes be a "pain," for example, when you run into that "wall" I mentioned a couple of days ago, or you have trouble controlling your characters, or your computer crashes and you lose the last chapter you'd just written and have to reconstruct it, or you're in the last week of NaNoWriMo and you're still introducing new characters, story lines, and plot twists instead of heading toward the climax of the conflict and preparing to write the ending.

Yes, those are all problematic, but what I'm referring to is physical pain. When you're under the gun, trying to write a novel in thirty days, you spend a lot of time at the computer. That can wreck havoc with certain parts of your anatomy. Here are some suggestions that may help you minimize computer stress and its painful side effects. Let's start at the top and work down.

The Neck: If you become engrossed in what you're writing, you may not notice your posture and that can cause neck pain. The head is positioned on the spinal column, but they're connected at the back of the neck. So, when you keep your head bent forward and down, out of alignment, for extended periods of time, the weight of the head (approximately 8-12 lb.) pulls on the muscles in your neck causing muscle strain and stiffness. This can also affect the shoulders and neck. To combat this, adjust your monitor so that you can look at it without having to bend your neck at more than a 15-degree angle. Place the monitor or laptop on a stand to raise it to a comfortable level if it's too low.

The Eyes: Looking at a monitor for too long at a time can cause eye strain and make your eyes feel dry, itchy, tired, sore, and cause blurred distance vision. To help avoid this, make sure you position the monitor so there is no glare either from a lamp or from the sun shining in the window. If the screen is too bright, adjust the brightness to a slightly lower level. Try to maintain a distance of at least 20" between your eyes and the monitor. Periodically, look at something in the distance -- a picture on the wall, a tree outside that is a distance from your house, anything that allows your eyes a break from the closeness of the monitor. And be sure to keep your monitor's screen clean and free of dust and smudges.

The Shoulders: Tension often causes us to raise our shoulders without our even being aware that we're doing so; and poor posture can exacerbate the muscle strain that may already be there from the neck being out of alignment. Periodically, make a conscious effort to lower your shoulders. Take a few deep breaths, let your arms hang limp at your sides, and try a few shoulder rolls and shrugs to ease the tension and relax the shoulders.

The Arms and Hands: Improper positioning of the keyboard and mouse can cause serious wrist pain and carpal tunnel syndrome, often associated with repetitive stress injuries (RSI) including typing for extended periods of time. Adjust your chair so that you can reach the keyboard with your arms at your sides and slightly forward, and bent at a 90-degree angle. The wrists should be relaxed in a natural position, neither bent downward nor upward. Use your chair's armrests and a wrist pad to support your wrists if you have them. Touch the keys on the keyboard lightly. Take periodic breaks from typing, and if your wrist are painful, stop.

The Back: Slouching, bending at the chest, sitting with one shoulder elevated above the other, twisting, leaning sideways, and bending at the waist can all cause muscle fatigue, stress, and eventually, strain. When sitting at the computer, keep your back supported, especially the lumbar curve. Your back should be straight (neither bent forward, nor flattened against the chair) and the ribcage should be lifted so you can easily take a deep breath. If you bend forward, bend from the hips slightly, keeping your upper body in proper alignment. Get up about every half hour and do some stretches, move around the room, or take a short walk.

The Legs: Sitting for extended periods of time, crossing one leg over the other, or sitting in a chair that is not properly adjusted for your height can cause cramping, tingling, and swelling in the legs and feet. First, be sure your chair is adjusted so that your feet are flat on the floor in front of you or slightly forward. If the chair can't be adjusted, use a footrest, a low stool, or a couple of books to elevate your feet so your legs and back are at a 90-degree angle, and your knees are the same. Again, take periodic breaks to stand and walk around to get your circulation going.

Hopefully, these suggestions will help take the pain out of writing, and allow it to be the pleasure it is supposed to be.

[Disclaimer: The material contained in this post is for informational purposes only, and is not to be construed as medical advice. If you are experiencing any of the above mentioned problems, consult with your doctor to get an accurate diagnosis and treatment.]

Sources:

http://www.ergocise.com/office.html;

http://ergonomics.about.com/od/office/ss/computer_setup_2.htm;

http://www.aoa.org/documents/EffectsComputerUse.pdf

Day Twenty-Two: Ten Interesting Articles for Writers

2009-11-22T15:11:00.012-05:00

In my travels on the net this week, I've come across some interesting articles, tips, and fun things I thought I'd share. If you find yourself in need of a break from writing, check these out.

1. 7 Reasons Why Agents Stop Reading Your First Chapter - http://networkedblogs.com/p18729389

2. The Word(s) Is Independent Publishers - http://womensmemoirs.com/memoir-writing-book-business/the-word-is-independent-publishers/#more-2725

3. Why Length Matters When Submitting Your Stories and Poems for Publication - http://www.writersreliefblog.com/post/Why-Length-Matters.aspx

4. The Book Publishing Process (Mara Bergman of Walker Books takes us through the book publishing process) - http://essentialwriters.com/walker-books-4586.htm

5. 9 Ways to Overcome Too Many Ideas Syndrome - http://www.writersdigest.com/article/too-many-ideas-syndrome/

6. 100+ of the Best Authors on Twitter - http://mashable.com/2009/05/08/twitter-authors/

7. Promo Branding Ideas - http://thewritingjungle.blogspot.com/2008/11/promo-branding-ideas.html

8. Writing Contests - http://helenginger.com/contests.htm

9. The Many Uses of "Up" - Editor Karen Reddick offers a fun article - http://theredpeneditor.com/blog/

10. Treasure Hunt - author Pat Bertram is hosting a treasure hunt based on her latest release, Daughter Am I. Hurry, though--contest ends November 30 - http://ptbertram.wordpress.com/2009/11/22/treasure-hunt/

Day Twenty-One: Hitting the Wall

2009-11-21T23:45:00.000-05:00

For three weeks you've been busily writing, following your outline (if you did one before NaNoWriMo began) or going with the flow as ideas flow from your mind, through your fingers, and onto the screen. Your story has taken some interesting, unexpected twists and turns, your characters have led you down different paths from the ones you thought you were traveling, and you've been meeting or exceeding the daily word count minimums. Everything is going great until, one day, you sit down at the keyboard to write, and...nothing! Suddenly, it's like someone dammed the river, and now there's not even a trickle of an idea coming through. What do you do when you hit the wall known as "writers' block"? Here are a few suggestions that might help get things moving again.

First, realize that this happens to everyone, even well-known, experienced authors, so don't beat yourself up over it. It doesn't mean you can't write. What it may mean is that you're striving for perfection, and worrying that you won't achieve it. Your writing, especially in a first draft (and that's what NaNo novels are--first drafts), doesn't have to be perfect. That's what editing and revisions are for. The important thing is that you just write. Get the story down on paper. You can go back later and correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, plot discrepancies, etc.

Walk away. Don't give up, but do step away from the keyboard for a while and do something else. Watch a movie, take a walk, call a friend, jump on the treadmill or stationary bike, work in the garden...anything to get your mind off writing for a little while. Then, after you feel refreshed, come back to the writing with a new perspective. Maybe something you've seen, heard, smelled, will trigger an idea for your story.

Write about it. That may sound contradictory since writing is what you're having trouble doing, but sitting down and writing out why you think you're feeling "stuck" might just get you unstuck. It's like talking out a problem with a friend. They might not have the answer, but you'll feel better because you've gotten it out in the open. And, sometimes just talking about it will suddenly give you clarity about the solution.

Try doing a writing exercise. This can be as simple as going to Writer's Digest's online writing prompts (http://www.writersdigest.com/WritingPrompts/), picking several random words from the newspaper and writing a story using all of them, or just writing down whatever comes into your mind (stream of consciousness writing).

Remember why you started writing in the first place. NaNoWriMo is a challenge, but it's voluntary and it's supposed to be FUN! Go to one of the more upbeat forums, such as the Nanoism forum, and let laughter recharge your creative batteries. And remember, the world won't end if you don't hit 50,000 words by the end of November.

Try to stick to a routine. If you write in the same place, at the same time, every day, your mind will begin to make the connection that when you do certain things it's the signal to start writing. Some writers even have a ritual they go through before actually writing, perhaps getting a cup of coffee and putting on a favorite item of clothing, playing a favorite CD or turning on the radio, anything that will let your brain know "this is writing time."

Jump to a different part of your story. If you're stuck in the middle, try writing the ending, then go back and fill in what needs to happen to get you to the end. Add a new character to the mix to bring in fresh action and dialog. Or if you're having a hard time with the beginning, start with the middle. If you haven't done an outline, try writing one now so you know what has to happen to get you where you want to end up.

Breathe. Try some relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, qi gong. Put on some soothing music, close your eyes, and picture a scene that is relaxing and calming for you.

Read. Grab a Coke, some coffee or tea, and a good book and read for a while. Reading what someone else has written may give you an idea you can use in your own story.

Just write. Even if you write a nursery rhyme, copy something you've already written, write a page of "It's your fault," "No, it's your fault," "Is not. It's your fault," etc., the important thing is to let your Muse know you mean business. You're there to write, you're writing (even if it's gibberish--you can delete it later), and that may get your creativity flowing again.

Day Twenty: What Would You Rather Be?

2009-11-20T23:40:00.001-05:00

While exploring the web for ideas for my blog today, I came across this question: Which would you rather be -- a famous athlete, a great singer, or an important politician?

Childhood memories came flooding back when I thought about my athletic abilities, or lack thereof. Gym class was my nemesis. Oh, it was okay during the early grades where we did synchronized marching, played dodge ball, pretended to be things like trees, crabs, camels, etc., and played games like "Red Rover," engaged in some simple calisthenics, and folk dancing. But in junior and senior high (this was pre-middle school era), sports seemed to take over the curriculum. It was soon evident that I would never be a female Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, or Barry Bonds. There are two things you must do if you're going to hit that ball: (1) keep your eyes open, and (2) don't duck! Occasionally, I would connect with the ball, but by the time I opened my eyes and stood up, I'd usually already been tagged out. Basketball was only slightly better even with my eyes open. Dribbling the ball was fun, but I swear the net moved every time I took a shot to try to make a basket. In track and field, I tripped over the hurdles. Then there was gymnastics. About the only thing there I was good at was the trampoline. So, being an athlete is definitely out. I'll leave that to those who are taller, more fleet of foot, and more coordinated.

As for singing, this is something I did a lot of both in church and in school. In the early sixties, a friend and I taught ourselves how to play the guitar, and led our assembled schoolmates in Hootenannys. For those of you too young to know what I'm talking about, a hootenanny was an informal concert comprised of folk songs. Armed with our guitars, we would mount the stage in the school auditorium and lead the audience in the popular tunes of the day by the likes of Pete Seeger, Joan Baez, and Peter, Paul, and Mary. It really was a "hoot," and I have very fond memories of those days before Beetlemania took over.

At one point in high school, our music teacher set up an audition for me with a woman from the Metropolitan Opera Company. The thought of studying and singing with that august group filled me with both excitement and anxiety. Then, at the last minute, she had an emergency, the audition had to be postponed, and, sadly, never took place. As an adult, I sang in churches, became a choir director, and sang on local TV a couple of times. I love to sing, but would I want it as a career with all the pressures and publicity? Very definitely, no!

That brings us to "important politician." While I have great respect for those who honestly try to do a good job of representing their constituents (very proud of my Vermont Senators and Congressman), there are just too many who end up in the headlines in less than a favorable light for less than stellar behavior and activities. I'm afraid I wouldn't be very good at playing the "game" of politics, where ideals are traded away for special projects, bills are padded with pork, and the hard-earned money of American citizens is squandered by corporate executives on outlandish salaries, bonuses, and schemes that leave their employees without jobs, healthcare, or retirement benefits.

So, what would I rather be? I'd rather be just what I am: a wife, mother, animal advocate, child sponsor, and, hopefully, a pretty good writer. As a writer, I can use the athlete, the singer, and the politician as characters in my books and hit the ball out of the park, have a platinum album and a world tour, and become President--without all the fishbowl living, the paparazzi, or the negative press, unless I decide to include them. Give me my computer, a blank screen, an idea, and some time to spin a story, and I'm a happy camper. And if something I write is published and other people get to read it, well, that makes me happy, too.

Day Nineteen: Ten Things I Know Because of NaNoWriMo

2009-11-19T02:01:00.005-05:00

In researching background information for my NaNo novel, much of which is set in Stowe, Vermont, in 1870-1871, I've discovered some interesting bits of information, so thought I'd share a few.

Ten Things I Know Because of NaNoWriMo:

1. On October 21, 1870, in his "Thanksgiving Proclamation," President Ulysses S. Grant recommended "all citizens to meet in their respective places of worship on Thursday the 24th day of November next, there to give thanks for the bounty of God during the year about to close and to supplicate for its continuance hereafter." Presidents are allowed the freedom to call the nation to prayer, but cannot mandate either for or against it without violating a Constitutional Amendment or the separation of church and state.

2. Also, in 1870, President Grant officially made Christmas a US federal holiday.

3. People in America now know what Santa Claus looks like, thanks to cartoonist Thomas Nash who created Santa's image in 1863.

4. It was in the late 1800s that the focus of gift giving at Christmas began to shift away from its religious significance as a reminder of the gifts of the magi to the baby Jesus at Epiphany, to the more social emphasis of our modern celebrations.

5. Prior to 1838, Stowe was spelled without the "e."

6. In 1863, the Stowe Community Church was built for $12,000, significantly less than modern building projects cost.

7. The first school was erected in Stowe, VT, in 1800, eight years after a provision for public education was passed by the legislature. The District #6 Village School (Stowe High School) was built in 1861.

8. The Stowe Free Library was established in 1866, although the public library movement didn't really gain momentum until 1880.

9. Gold Brook Bridge (Emily's Bridge) was built in 1844, but the legend didn't exist prior to 1968. In one account, a high school girl claims to have gotten the story of Emily's death from her Ouija board; in another, the legend was told by a woman to scare her children and/or a group of college students in 1970.

10. At one time, Stowe had ten covered bridges. Emily's Bridge is the only one that still exists. (Maybe the other bridges should have housed ghosts!)

Bonus fact: Originally, Stowe belonged to Chittenden County, then Washington, and finally Lamoille. And did you know Lamoille got its name because of a cartographer's mistake? It was originally Lamoitte, but the mapmaker forgot to cross his "t's."

Let that be a lesson to us writers. Have a good editor check your manuscripts to make sure you've dotted your "i"s and cross your "t"s, or what is left for posterity might not be what you intended.