Little Things

Last week was very busy, one of those in which "life" intruded on my plans, resulting in very few checkmarks on my To Do List. All of a sudden, it's the middle of another week, and I wonder, "Where did the time go?" If you're like me, there are times when it seems too many things demand your attention--those pesky "urgent" things that hound you during the day and keep you from falling asleep at night. Suddenly, mole hills become mountains, draining energy like a hole in a levee, until you're drowning in a flood of undone tasks, including overdue blog entries. Yet, it seems that when we are caught up in busy-ness, it's then that we are more likely to feel we haven't accomplished anything, and life seems empty.

The other day, while reading my Twitter feed, I came across this comment by Mariel Hemingway: "Life is full when you pay attention to the little things." Is that what's missing, I wondered? Do we get so caught up in the multitude of demands on our time that we fail to notice the "little things" that make our lives worth living? Those things that, if we would pause for a moment to notice, would add joy, laughter, and balance to an otherwise stressful day? What would happen if we consciously looked for those things, took even a minute, off and on throughout our day, to seek out the little, everyday, extraordinarily ordinary things?

Weekend before last, I wasn't looking forward to my week. It began on Monday with a dental appointment--just a regular semi-annual cleaning and checkup. No big deal...except that, from the time I was a child, I have felt panic when facing a dentist, my earliest experiences having been just short of torture. It has taken me fifty years to get to where I can sit in the chair without shaking, but there is always that underlying apprehension. Fortunately, my dentist and hygienist understand, and do everything they can to minimize my anxiety. The appointment was uneventful--no cavities, no problems, no shaking chair, and my teeth will remain in their place of origin. So, what "little things" helped to transform a highlly stressful experience into a much less stressful one? Things like my hygienist keeping the back of the chair elevated more than usual because she knew my back was hurting that day, giving me a second cup to rinse out in so I didn't have to twist to use the sink (I can't stand the squirt and suction option), and chatting with me about my kids, her kids, our pets, so that the time passed quickly. As a result, I forgot to be nervous! Her little attentions and accommodations to my needs made all the difference.

Tuesday, we not only had to take our new cat, Micau, for her first vet checkup, but our dog Mindy had a slight problem that needed a professional hand. I was grateful that they were able to squeeze her in before Micau's appointment so that we didn't have to make two trips. Our vet, too, does "little things" that make us and our animals more comfortable during our visits. She bubbles over with love for her job and for her patients, and you can't help smiling as soon as she enters the room. She takes time to pat and talk to them, to answer our questions, involves us in the decision-making process regarding their healthcare, and isn't afraid to show emotion when an animal has to be put down. Her willingness to make herself vulnerable, and the genuine love she shows for our animals, in addition to her skill, makes me trust her and puts our furry companions at ease. Oh, and another "little thing"--she tossed in a complimentary nail trim for Micau.

Thursday, I was scheduled for a bone density scan and spinal x-rays. Knowing I'd have to lay flat on my painful back, I was dreading both. Although it hurt to lie absolutely flat with my feet strapped together for the first test, the technician talked with me the whole time, reassuring me that it wouldn't take long and that I was doing great, and asking me questions to help keep my mind off the discomfort. From there I went to x-ray, where the technician not only gave me an extra pillow, but allowed me to bend my knees, relieving the stress on my back. She, too, made sure I was as comfortable as possible and worked quickly. The extra kindness and compassion of those two women made an uncomfortable experience much less so, and the whole process took less than an hour.

Other things that made my life full last week were taking time to watch Micau jump and play with her new little catnip mouse, cuddling with her as she nuzzled my neck or touched her little pink nose to mine; Meisha, our other cat, seeking me out and curling up beside me at night, using my hand for her pillow as she purred us to sleep; Mindy, my service dog, picking up a paper I dropped on the floor without me giving her the command to do so, and coming in to help me in the morning as soon as she heard me stirring; hearing a favorite piece of music on the radio; the beauty of a bouquet of flowers reminding me that spring is not far off; discovering a new artisan bread that is gluten-free and deliciously chewy; finding an exercise DVD that I can do while seated, and being able to actually DO all of the exercises! These things have little, if any, monetary value, but I wouldn't have traded them for the world. They provided the moments of calm in a hectic, painful, stressful week.

Kindness, compassion, caring, affection can't be bought, they can only be given and received. They may not pay the rent or put food on the table, or get blog entries written on time, but life would be unbearably bleak without them.

What are the "little things" that help you get through a stressful day/week/season of life, or that simply put a smile on your face when you need it most? Please share in the comment section.

Day Twenty-eight: Glimpses of Normalcy

NaNoWriMo is like taking part in a total immersion language program. For those who may not know what that is, instead of taking a foreign language in college for two or three one-hour sessions a week, you live in a dorm with other students of that particular language, French for example, and that is all you speak. By only being allowed to communicate in the language you are learning, you learn it much faster. The theory behind it is based on how children learn their native languages, which is primarily from hearing their parents and older siblings speak it.

NaNo is something like that. You may be physically present in a non-NaNo world, but much of your waking time is spent either working on your novel, corresponding with your writing buddies about your novels, or talking in the forums seeking support or discussing problems with your novels. Even when you're not actively engaged in writing or discussing, your brain is trying to work out plot snags or details of the next scene. You speak a whole new vocabulary, one steeped in writing terms and NaNoJargon.

It takes some adjustment when you finish your book and suddenly remember that you have a life that exists the other eleven months of the year. Somehow, during November, that seems to slip your mind. But I've begun to catch glimpses of normalcy. For instance, when I'm writing, I like to listen to the classical music station on the radio ("ALL Classical, ALL the time," is their motto). But a couple of days ago, I suddenly realized there was a smattering of Christmas music sprinkled in amongst the works of Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, and Grieg. Then, while watching television in the evening, it was impossible to miss the holiday commercials; and even two of our favorite programs had Thanksgiving themes, and one was a Christmas episode!

There have been more mundane reminders of that "other" life, too. Bills still have to be paid: creditors don't consider NaNoWriMo a valid excuse for late payments. And my husband informed me that there is something amiss with our refrigerator--how can it be freezing and thawing at the same time? So, it looks like a call to the repairman is in order.

And then there's the mud! Not only have we had one of the wettest springs and summers on record, but fall has not been much better. Our back yard is so saturated, I'm thinking of investing in "Wellies" for Mindy, my dog, so she won't track in so much mud from outside. If it were just a bit warmer, we could grow rice or perhaps have a cranberry bog of our very own. The bottom line is that the floor by the kitchen door needs to be mopped almost daily to keep the muck from spreading into the the main house.

It was also nice to take a day off from writing to enjoy Thanksgiving with family, to talk with real people instead of just the characters in my book, and to listen to conversation that I didn't write. Soon, meals will return to being more balanced, and more regular, as will bedtime. Once again laundry will be folded upon its return from the laundromat, and clothes will be available in drawers and closets instead of having to be fished out of the accumulated bags of clean laundry piled by the linen closet. Furniture will be dusted, floors will be vacuumed and mopped, beds will be made. In short, the normal rhythms and responsibilities of life will return--at least until next November.

Day Eighteen: Interview with a NaNoer, Part 2

Today I'm continuing my interview with Deni Hansen-Gray Weber, as she shares her experiences as a first-time NaNoWriMo participant. If you missed part 1, you'll find it below today's post.

Donna: Coming up with a title, knowing how to begin the story, or knowing how to end it--what has been the hardest thing for you?

Deni: I pretty much knew how I wanted the novel to end. The novel starts with the main character looking back in time as she is leaving to return to her hometown in what appears to be disgrace, and wondering how it all happened to her. Fairly quickly, I knew how I wanted it all to start--I soon knew how I wanted it to end. Somewhere around 25,000 words, I realized I needed a lot more "plot" than I had, and I was worried I'd not be able to make a cohesive whole that was 50,000+ words.

Donna: What do you hope to take away from this experience, what have you learned from it, and how has it impacted your life?

Deni: This kind of relates to the previous answer! I had to create a number of challenges for my heroine to face--just to fill up space--but I realized she grew through them. Much like myself, she'd look at God and ask, "Why me? Why now?" I soon realized how similar to life this is. It was like I finally figured out that life really is a series of challenges to be met. Yet, time after time, with God's help, she overcame them. She learned she needed to be reliant on God--just as I am learning that complete reliance is necessary for our family with the continuing challenges we are facing.

Donna: Would you encourage others to try doing NaNoWriMo next year?

Deni: Oh boy, would I! I'd encourage anyone who likes to write, or wonders if they have a book hidden inside of them, to try this. The NaNoWriMo site has so many encouraging forums and you can pick writing buddies to support you on your journey. My words? "Go for it!" Doesn't matter if it gets published or tucked away somewhere on a thumb drive, there is such a sense of accomplishment that "I did it!" It was helpful for me to learn that only a small percentage of those who undertake the challenge win, and it's okay not to pass the 50,000 mark. It's a goal.

Donna: Any final thoughts you'd like to share?

Deni: Final thoughts? I don't think it matters if you "win" the challenges or not. There is always next year, and I think it is more a matter of putting yourself out there and trying. To me, everyone who makes the effort is a winner. It reminds me of my favorite saying, "Success is getting up one more time than you fall down." If you continue to write, that's success! Or, maybe you find out writing is not for you--and that's fine, too. I think it's a win-win thing. It is tremendously challenging, but I'd not have missed it for the world!

Donna: One last question, Deni, do you plan to pursue publication of your NaNo novel?

Deni: I think participating in NaNoWriMo has given me the incentive to do further work on the novel. As I had stated before, December is going to be editing and proofreading month in our homeschool curriculum, so I will be going at least that far. I do think that doing these things along with the kids provides a modeling role for them that is often missing from both public and homeschool settings.

Would I like it to be published? I can answer that with a resounding "Yes!" Will I pursue it? That depends on God opening doors for me as I know nothing about the publishing end of writing.

Maybe that will be an addition to our homeschool curriculum at some point--"How to publish a book." I'm sure it would be interesting for both the children and me.

I'd love to see something I have written in print! Yet, I think the most successful part of this for me has been in seeing the creation of something that was once floating around in my head, solidly written (at least I hope so!) and in a tangible form. I am anxious to get past the edit/proof stage and print it out and see how it looks "on paper."

Donna: Deni, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to share your thoughts and experiences with our readers. Good luck with your novel.

Deni: Thanks for asking me to participate in your blog interview!

Note to my readers: Thank you for joining us today. Your feedback is greatly appreciated and will help me in making this blog relevant for you. I welcome your comments and questions, and encourage you to use the comment form. I also welcome your suggestions for future discussion topics. -- Donna